Just like every human being, men have emotional needs, and these needs are in no way unimportant.
For me, I consider my emotional needs as equally important as my physical needs, and it is the same for many people, men inclusive.
Emotional needs are those needs for emotional connection, the need to feel validated, share personal stuff, and confide in someone.
When your man does this with someone else aside from you, it is an emotional affair.
In case you’re wondering why men have emotional affairs, I am about to share some of the reasons with you.
Understanding the reasons will help you figure out why your man is having an emotional affair and what you should do about it.
You must understand that emotional affairs are not inferior to actual physical affairs.
If an emotional affair goes on long enough, it is bound to evolve into a physical affair.
That is a no-brainer.
Before you start getting worked up about the fact that your man is having an emotional affair, you need to understand his possible reasons first.
14 Reasons Why Men Have Emotional Affairs
1. Emotional Disconnection With Their Partner
If you’re wondering why men seek emotional support and validation from someone aside from their partner, one of the most common reasons is that they feel disconnected from their partner.
Emotional disconnection happens between lovers sometimes, and many different factors can be responsible for it.
It could be that you don’t have enough time for each other due to your hectic schedules, or it could be that the two of you simply aren’t meeting each other’s emotional and physical needs.
Whatever the case may be, emotional disconnection is often a precursor to emotional affairs.
Sometimes, it is just a transient, temporary phase that will pass soon, but other times, it may be deeper and linger.
When this happens, and the emotional connection is lost, one of the possible responses one or both parties in the relationship can resort to is finding someone else to emotionally connect with.
This is how an emotional affair begins.
2. Feeling Of Neglect
Another common reason why men have emotional affairs is the feeling of neglect and abandonment.
People hardly go out in search of what they already have.
A man will go out in search of emotional connection if he feels neglected.
You, as his woman, may not have noticed that you have been neglecting him or starving him of attention.
It may not have been intentional.
But it does not change the fact that he feels it, and unfortunately, he found other ways to make up for that by trying to find affection in other places.
You have to understand that men need attention as much as women do, and they want to feel loved and cared for even more than us.
So be aware of the signs that your man may be feeling neglected, and make sure you are doing your part to fill his emotional needs.
Acknowledge your shortcomings, but do not keep beating yourself up.
Fix things by choosing to do better, calling his attention to it, and having a conversation about it.
3. They Feel Unappreciated
It is common for men to have emotional affairs when they feel unappreciated in their current relationship.
Men have an innate need for appreciation and gratitude, especially men who are giving their best in their relationship.
When their efforts are not acknowledged, it can lead to a lack of motivation and a sense that there is no point in even trying.
They may feel that their sacrifices and efforts don’t get enough recognition or that they are not given the attention and respect they deserve.
Take time to recognize his efforts, express gratitude for all that he does, tell him how much you appreciate him, and remind him of why you fell in love with him in the first place.
Show your appreciation through kind words as well as romantic gestures such as dinner dates, surprise gifts, or a night away from home together.
This will make him feel cherished and loved and much closer to you.
This shows your man that his efforts matter to you and that you recognize and value his contribution to your life.
Your recognition will go a long way towards making him feel special, loved, and appreciated.
When that need is not met in their current relationship, they may end up seeking it somewhere else.
4. The Need For Validation
The need for validation is not always a bad thing.
Sometimes, it can be a normal thing.
Everyone wants to feel validated, especially by the people they love.
A healthy relationship should not lack that.
Both parties should uplift and celebrate each other in a relationship.
If a man is not getting that in a relationship, he may find himself soon wrapped in an emotional affair with a third party who satisfies his need for validation.
This is because the third party makes him feel seen and appreciated.
You do not affirm your validation of him, and this means you do not let him know that you acknowledge his existence, his loyalty and that he matters in your life.
This is because the need for validation is a normal and natural need of every person.
However, if the man has an obsession with being validated, the problem is with him and not you because nothing you do will ever be sufficient until he becomes sufficient and confident in himself.
5. Absence Of Emotional Intimacy
Another reason why men have emotional affairs is the absence of emotional intimacy in their current relationship.
A relationship involves all forms of connection and intimacy.
It is not limited to just physical intimacy or mental connection.
Emotional connection is also a huge part of every relationship.
When there is an emotional disconnection between two people, men tend to seek it elsewhere in the form of an emotional affair.
It is important for couples to build and maintain a healthy relationship by expressing emotions freely through communication, listening, and building trust.
If emotional intimacy is absent from your relationship, make sure you are taking steps to establish it before any further damage can be done.
If this is lacking, you man may resort to confiding in someone else who satisfies his needs in these areas.
Men resort to emotional affairs when they are not getting their emotional needs met with their partners.
6. Poor Communication
Communication is one of the most important parts of every relationship.
Whenever it is absent, a lot of things can go wrong.
Lack of communication with their partner is one of the reasons men seek emotional connection from other people.
Emotional affairs are bound to start when a man finds it difficult to communicate with his partner and freely share his thoughts with her.
Poor communication can lead to frustration, anger, and resentment in a relationship.
These negative feelings can force men into an emotional affair with someone who understands and listens to them better than his own partner.
Because those burdens in his heart have to be shared, he’ll eventually find someone who is willing to listen to him, and that can grow and become a constant practice.
7. Quest For Freedom
Men do not like to feel trapped.
If he feels held by from being himself, or he feels unable to express himself, or if feels like he is being suffocated in his current relationship, he may seek a way of escape by looking for emotional connection and support from another person.
This may be a way for him to escape from the demands of his current relationship without actually committing to someone else.
At first, it could seem like an innocent need for attention or companionship, but if he continues this affair, the emotional bond with the other person grows and becomes stronger.
This can ultimately lead to physical infidelity.
While emotional needs are valid and should be met, these reasons are not excuses for men or even women to have emotional affairs.
Emotional affairs are as dangerous as physical ones and can cause a lot of harm to relationships.
People in relationships should be open to communicating their needs and feelings and willing to make adjustments where necessary to the end so that both parties feel heard and seen and their needs met.
8. Sexual Dissatisfaction
Sexual dissatisfaction can lead to men having emotional affairs.
This is more common in relationships where communication is poor or absent.
Men who feel sexually frustrated or dissatisfied with their partners and are not able to communicate their frustration with her may find themselves confiding in another woman.
This woman may provide the emotional support and validation that he needs, which the partner is not providing.
There could also be an element of physical attraction if the other person is attractive or available.
They may not start out with the aim of having an emotional affair, but one eventually develops.
The emotional connection they feel with the new person will feel like compensation for their sexual frustration, and with time, this new person may begin to meet their sexual needs as well.
9. The Desire For Adventure
Human beings are insatiable, and sometimes, the reason why men have emotional affairs has nothing to do with failure or mistakes on the part of their partners.
It is just a sheer desire for novelty.
Men get bored sometimes and want to try something new or exciting.
It is worse if the man is idle and has a lot of time on his hands.
It may start out as a joke where he is just flirting or engaging in deep conversations with someone who is not his partner.
The man desires to experience a different kind of love, one that can fill the void his current partner cannot.
He may feel like he is stuck in a rut with his current partner and wants to explore what else is out there.
In this case, engaging in an emotional affair helps him find more excitement and adventure.
Not all emotional affairs are initiated intentionally.
Sometimes, they happen unintentionally.
Carelessness and lack of boundaries can make a man fall into a properly calculated and prepared trap set by another woman who wants him.
Sometimes, men fail to see things even when they are written in plain sight.
Women tend to be more observant and suspicious than men are many times.
Another woman who desires a man, even if he is in a relationship, can decide to show him a lot of care and support to the end that he becomes emotionally connected to her.
If the man is careless and lacks boundaries, he will fall for that trap.
He may just find himself in a situation where he is now emotionally glued to this new woman.
11. They Feel Inferior
Men who have a poor sense of self and feel low and inferior are bound to seek emotional validation and connection from people, and this can lead to emotional affairs.
When such men find a woman who makes them feel good and improves their self-esteem, they become attached to her.
The moment she stops paying attention to him, he starts feeling empty again and may look for another woman who will make him feel better about himself.
If a man is not confident in himself enough and always wants to feel wanted and desired, he is likely to have an emotional affair, especially if he feels like he’s not getting that in his current relationship.
He may end up seeking emotional intimacy with anyone who offers him that.
12. A Feeling Of Loneliness
Sometimes, loneliness is not the absence of someone with you.
It is the absence of someone you can connect with and share your deepest thoughts with.
It is possible to be in a relationship and still be lonely, and this is a primary reason why men have emotional affairs.
A man who feels like his interests, values, or hobbies are not shared by his partner may feel lonely and alone and choose to seek validation from somewhere else.
Loneliness can also come up when a man is dealing with a difficult time, and his partner does not offer emotional support.
He may end up searching for someone who is willing to provide that kind of support, leading him to have an emotional affair.
It’s important to note that this type of scenario can be avoided if both partners work on being understanding and supportive of each other in difficult times.
13. Drama-filled Relationship
Men would rather avoid constant arguments and fights in their relationships and go where there is peace.
A relationship that is constantly filled with nagging, complaints, and drama can fuel an emotional affair.
When this is the case, he may choose to find someone who will listen to his thoughts and feelings without judgment or criticism.
This could lead him to seek out a person who can give him the attention and understanding that he feels is lacking in his current relationship.
This is common with men who do not like confrontation and conflicts.
Rather than face confrontation, they will get involved with someone else who listens to them without confrontation and judgment.
14. A Quest For Revenge
Some men go into emotional affairs as a means to get back at their partner for something wrong that they did.
This could be an act of revenge for something that the partner did or said that he felt was wrong.
The partner may have wronged them by abandoning them or even cheating on them.
And so they decide to do something equally or more painful to get even.
He may feel resentment and seek out someone to “get back” at his partner.
Though this might not always be the case, it is a common reason why some men choose to cheat emotionally on their partners.
This type of affair is unlikely to bring any meaningful resolution or healing.