You already know what it means to be “into” someone.
You’ve felt the butterflies, you’ve even had to stop yourself from texting them too much, and maybe even started planning out your first date.
But there’s another side of being into someone we don’t talk about as much: the signs he’s not that into you.
So you’ve been talking with a guy, and you are wondering if he’s really into you.
Maybe he hasn’t called in a while, or he’s said something that made you feel like he’s not really interested in you.
To be sure, here are some signs that your guy may not be that into you:
6 Signs He’s Not That Into You
1. He frequently cancels plans or is consistently unavailable
When it comes to showing interest in a woman, being available for her is key.
You can tell how much a guy is interested in you by how much time he makes himself available to you.
Even if he’s busy, a guy who is into you will endeavor to be consistent in his availability to you—to impress you and show how much he wants you in his life.
So if a guy always cancels plans last minute because of “work”, “a friend emergency” or other “something came up” excuses, he might not be that into you.
I remember a roommate who was dating this guy, and the guy promised to come and visit her on a certain Sunday.
My roommate cooked and prepared for him excitedly.
I knew he wouldn’t show up and I felt for my poor friend who was in love with him.
He didn’t show up and my roommate was heartbroken.
I didn’t have the guts to tell her that the guy wasn’t that into her.
I didn’t want her to make me her enemy because that’s exactly what always happens whenever you try to tell a girl who is in love that her love interest is not for real.
2. Efforts are one-sided
Mutual effort is the foundation of any healthy relationship
When efforts are one-sided, it means that one person is putting in all the work to make the relationship work while the other person is not reciprocating.
If you are the one always initiating plans, initiating conversations and making an effort to see him while he seems indifferent and is not making any efforts to pursue a relationship with you, he’s not that into you.
Forget whatever he’s saying.
Look at his actions.
3. He gives mixed signals
Mixed signals are when someone’s behavior, words, or actions are contradictory and confusing.
If a guy is giving you mixed signals about his feelings or intentions, he’s not that into you.
He tells you he cares about you and wants to be with you one day, and then ignores you or avoids you the next.
He’s consistent in his communication with you one day and totally ghosts you for a few days.
You’re so confused about what he wants and where you stand in his life.
4. He’s still checking out other women
Anytime you’re out on a date or whenever you’re together, he’s constantly looking around the room, scanning for other women or actively flirting with them.
It’s a major sign he’s not that into you and you’re just one of his many options.
Checking out other women shows he’s not treating you with the respect and consideration you deserve.
A guy who is into you will be focused on you whenever you’re together.
I’m not saying he should become blind because he’s interested in you.
But you can always tell the difference between a casual look and a flirty stare/wandering eyes.
5. He is not willing to compromise or make sacrifices for the relationship
Compromise is like a secret ingredient in a relationship—it’s essential.
Without it, things can get pretty bland and unappetizing.
You know why?
Because no two people are exactly the same, no matter how much you love each other.
So at different points, you’d need to compromise for the progress of your relationship, and it starts from little things.
For example, if you’re trying to decide on a movie to watch, and he insists on watching the latest action movie, but you want to watch a romantic comedy.
Instead of compromising and finding a middle ground, he refuses to watch anything other than what he wants
A man who is unwilling to compromise or make sacrifices for the relationship is a man who is totally into you.
A little caution here though.
I don’t support compromising on things are are important to you such as your values and your passion.
But in ways that are not that serious, partners in a relationship should be willing to compromise.
A man who always wants his way and doesn’t care about your feelings is not into you.
6. He has refused to take your relationship to the next level
While it’s possible that he’s not ready to take the relationship to the next level, it’s also possible that he just doesn’t want to.
Those are two different things.
A man who is really into you will not make you doubt his intentions towards you.
He will make it clear that he wants´to be more than friends with you.
But the one who isn’t that into you will not take your relationship to the next level.
He might friendzone you, make excuses for why he can’t spend more time with you or why they don’t want to take things further.
He might even say he’s afraid of commitment as an excuse for not making any effort at all.
You know what?
When he meets someone he’s that into, all his excuses will fly out the window.
Then you’ll know it’s not about you; it’s about how he feels about you.
You might be thinking, ”So what do I do with a guy that’s not that into me?”
Well, I can’t tell you what to do because it’s all about what you want.
Do you want to wait until he’s that into you or you’ll rather be with a guy who will be crazy about you as much as you are about him?