There is no question that you always want to be sexy to your husband; you want him to look at you and always see the sexy woman he fell in love with.
But the truth is, while we don’t want to and hope we don’t marry superficial men whose love for us is based only on how we look, we know that we cannot always look the same.
If pregnancy and childbirth don’t make things saggy, age would.
However, does that mean all hope is lost?
Does that mean we will never be able to bring the sexy back?
Does that mean we will never look sexy to our husbands after a certain age?
The fact that life happens does not spell doom for us; it only means we need to work at it.
And you know what?
That’s okay because you can be the sexiest woman alive, and if you still don’t make an effort, you will not achieve the sexiness you should be able to achieve.
So, it doesn’t matter how you actually look; you just have to be willing to put in the work to be the super sexy wife of your husband’s dream.
How do you do that?
That’s what I have written this article to address.
And by the time you are done with this post and you apply all that you have learnt, it is just a matter of time before you set the bedroom on fire.
How To Be The Super-Sexy Wife of Your Husband’s Dream
Don’t Lose Your Self-Confidence
Now, you might be wondering why I’m starting with this and not maybe sexting to keep him anticipating; you will know why in a bit.
Sex – especially intimate sex that means something – is the whole nine yards.
If you are not in the right state outside of the bedroom, you won’t be able to bring your A-game in the bedroom.
And self-confidence is one of the things that can make you falter in your sex life.
Marriage is a whole ball game, nothing prepares you fully for the responsibilities that comes with being married.
Therefore, it is easy to freak out when you think of how drastic your life – as you know it – might change; you have to think of another person apart from yourself and in every way you can think of, you have to place your partner’s and subsequently, family’s needs and care before yours.
However, while being a wife, mother, business/career woman etc., you can still retain your self-confidence (trust in your abilities and skills to get something done).
In essence, you must believe in yourself and have the confidence that you can achieve all the tasks and operate in your many offices with ease while enjoying the process and living healthily and happily.
Granted, there will be times when challenges come up and doubt and fear begin to set in.
In those times, you might question your ability, skills, knowledge.
But hey, that’s the best time to pick yourself up and find a healthy way to deal with the rising insecurities.
Some turn to their faith for succors, some find that discussing their challenges with a supportive partner goes a long way while some discover that having a personal time away from others helps to revive their self-confidence.
Whatever works for you, go for it and keep your head up and high.
You’ve got this!
You have to know you’ve got it because girl, if you are unsure about your abilities outside your sex life, you better believe it will trickle into your sex life.
So, if you want to revive your sex life and you are battling with insecurity, it is better to deal with that first then move on to looking sexy.
And let me just end this section by adding that in fact, confidence is very sexy.
2. Don’t Forget Self-Love
It is easy for women to get caught up in the demands of marriage especially if you’re a nurturer and caregiver by nature.
It is easy to take care of everyone else in the family; make sure the children are properly bathed, dressed up and well-fed before sending them off to school, ensure breakfast is ready for hubby and his outfit for the day picked out, ironed and laid out for him and the list goes on.
It is easy to want to make sure that everyone is doing fine and not lacking anything but totally forget to take care of yourself.
Sure, you grab a bit now and then but when last did you sit down to enjoy your meal?
When last did you make a trip that didn’t involve your children’s or husband’s needs?
When was the last time you had a spa day or visited your pedicurist?
It is all well and good to ensure your family is comfortable and taken care of but it is also important that you take care of yourself as well.
You need to invest in your total well-being, love up on yourself, allow yourself days of rest and respite.
Remember, you can only give when you are full.
If you are all tired and stressed, you won’t be able to give of yourself to your husband sexually.
3. Pay Attention to Your Looks
The trend over time has been that many ladies pay attention to how they look while they are still single; they spruce up and worry over every details of their image.
However, and surprisingly, that takes a drastic turn or change once they get married.
Granted, there’s a lot on your plate as a married woman (laundry, house cleaning, cooking, school runs, business, family obligations, etc) especially when children are in the picture.
But that is definitely not enough obstruction to stop you from looking good and sexy for your husband.
It has been said often that men that men are visual beings and if you want to look super sexy to him, you have to do the work and look the part.
Mind you, looking good is not necessarily in the big things.
I mean, where’s really the time to visit the hair salon or for manis and pedis every other day?
But I’m talking about doing at least the bare minimum.
This includes making sure your hair looks presentable, wearing something neat, casual but still fitting and eye-catching in the house, wearing sexy and not boring nighties and so on.
The goal here is to look very much like the lady he wooed, dated and married and not like a stranger.
4. Make the First Move
I don’t know who or what started this culture that puts the responsibility of initiating sex on the man.
But it’s probably from the culture of shaming women for wanting sex while it is seen as a normal occurrence if done by men.
So, women shy away from voicing out their desire for sex and leave the men to do all the asking.
Men, however, don’t want to always be the ones initiating sex and not because it is too much work but because they want to feel desirable to their wives as well.
Think about it; you know how you will feel when your husband stops asking for sex, that’s exactly how men feel when their wives never make the first move.
Now, he might not address it or even think anything of it because he has been made to feel it’s his responsibility but he will feel appreciated and wanted if you do it.
You know how we don’t always know what we want or will like till we have it happen to us; that is the case with many men loving to be desired.
They don’t know it’s an innate need because they haven’t been taught to embrace it but they will love it when it happens.
So, this is something you have to be intentional about and you don’t have to do it just to do it.
I mean, except you are asexual or in rare cases, there are times when you will crave sex and in those moments, make the first move. If you are struggling with how to go about it, let me help you with tips you can use to initiate sex with your husband.
So, how do you initiate sex with your husband?
Give a compliment when he’s about stepping out for the day: Your man will love to be complimented on how he looks, especially if he has put much effort in looking good, it is like an ego-boost for him.
So, ensure that your hubby doesn’t step out without you telling him he looks handsome, dashing, dapper, sexy and whatever sweet words you can think of.
Be generous with your compliments; it sets the right tone and atmosphere.
Plan or schedule a date night: Don’t let him always come to ‘home as usual’.
You can tell him to meet you somewhere for a date night or you guys could have a particular day set for date night that you abide by strictly.
However, spontaneous date nights are always fun.
Plan it, get a sitter for the kids and just get him there.
Of course, this doesn’t have to happen always but you can try the spontaneous thing once in a while and the scheduled dates as often as you can manage it.
And if you are a homebody, you can bring the date night home; turn your house into a wonderland, light some candles, use colorful lights, hang some decorations, draw a warm bath with scented oil, and put on the right music to set the mood. whatever you do, ensure he’ll be coming home to something spicy and exciting to get his blood running.
And most times, date nights lead to steamy nights.
Let me say here that you might have to make sacrifices to make date nights happen; time will not always permit but we have to do what we have to do.
Seduce your husband: The best way to give a grand finale to your plans is to put on your art of seduction (you might need to learn a trick or two, use the internet).
Ensure your nightwear matches your mood and moves, don’t rush, enjoy foreplay, do lap dances, draw out and savor every moment as much as you can, let him know that you want or desire him in that way.
Tell him: He is your husband; there is nothing to be shy about.
When you crave sex, just tell him.
In fact, you can even jump him if you have the time for a quickie. You know talking doesn’t always have to be with words; you can ‘talk’ with your actions as well.
5. Personal Development
An average man likes a wife with whom he can hold intelligent conversations with and a wife that can hold her own in public conversations.
Moreover, there’s nothing as sexy as making head waves in your chosen field; be it career or business.
A man will highly rate a woman that can positively add value to him, a woman who can give him sound pieces of advice and ideas that work and are profitable.
So, invest your time in developing yourself, don’t be caught up in life to not focus on your business, academic pursuit, career path and so on.
Read as much as you can and as often as you can.
Set the bar high and your husband will not only appreciate or value you but be attracted to you for a long time.
When it comes to your sex life, you don’t want to play it safe as far as texting is concerned.
If you check the text messages of many married people, it is likely full of responsibilities and nothing fun.
All they talk about are the kids, bills, buying groceries and the likes.
Well, it’s time to change the narrative!
Sexting can be of high benefit to you and your husband.
So, don’t feel awkward about it, in fact, it’s a great way to make sure your partner is anticipating before he gets home.
If you feel your relationship is losing spice or your sex life is dull, you can get it heated and fired up by sexting.
Think of it as a tease wand you can pull out anytime you want to get some action from your husband.
7. Talk Dirty While Getting It On
Another stimulating and exciting thing you can do to ensure that your sex with your husband is spicy and something to look forward to is to talk dirty while having sex.
Talking dirty simply means to say sexy things you want your partner to do to you or he’s doing to you, words like “kiss me” “come for me”, and many more will build up excitement and ensure full participation and satisfaction in your sexual exploit.
8. Encourage Him to Communicate His Fantasies. Share Yours with Him Too
The fact that you’re married doesn’t make it easy for your partner to share his sexual fantasies with you and vice versa as it is a vulnerable act and may leave you feeling exposed.
Also, you don’t know if your fantasies will be welcomed by your partner or you will be considered weird.
Asking your husband to share his fantasies will not only show him that you care about his sexual satisfaction and enjoy the process yourself but also show that you’re willing to explore and heat up your sexual life.
So, don’t hesitate to ask him what he fantasizes about, then go ahead to make it a reality for him, if you’re not familiar with some of them, e.g. role-playing, BDSM, etc.
You can check the internet for helpful tips.
Don’t forget to communicate yours too.
You can have a sex calendar of your combined fantasies and when you will like to try each out.
9. Keep the Mystery Alive
It is true that marriage brings with it, familiarity and vulnerability and therefore, there is a tendency for one to think that they’ve seen it all or for a couple to fall into a consistent, systemic pattern of having sex.
This is something you must avoid at all cost.
Ensure that you always leave something up to mystery; intentionally promote intimacy emotionally and sexually.
Don’t be a predictable wife.
Try to include spontaneity in your marriage; your dressing, seduction game, foreplay, and what have you.
Remember, when you do something different and/or new from time to time, you keep your partner anticipating, interested and happy.
10. Be Adventurous and Impulsive
As I earlier said, it is easy to settle into a comfortable and monotonous routine.
It is also easy to get caught up in balancing work, marriage, family and life generally.
But that quickly gets boring; not only is that kind of marriage not enjoyable for you, it will also not be enjoyable to your partner.so, what do you do?
You need to step out of the box as you have known it and do something different.
Have you always celebrated your anniversaries with home-cooked meals?
Try going out to a restaurant for a change. Have you always had just you and your immediate family around on birthdays?
Consider throwing a party!
Have you never celebrated your special occasions outside of your country?
You should consider taking a trip if you can afford it.
Whatever you decide, ensure it is not the same as you usually do.
Pleasantly surprise your partner; be creative, explore, be open to new experiences, splurge on a much-needed vacation, go shopping, do something exciting and impulsive.
11. Get Rid of Myths/Mindset Preventing You from Enjoying Sex
There are quite a number of myths and misconceptions stemming from culture, personal orientation, hearsay, social preferences or opinions that has prevented many from enjoying sex in their marriages.
You hear opinions like men are supposed to initiate sex that I mentioned earlier, sex is only for procreation or even the silly, “the bigger, the better” myth.
If you are not enjoying sex with your partner as you ought to, then you might want to check if there is/are any myth(s) you have held on to for a long time.
Start focusing on the fact that sex is meant to be enjoyed and pleasurable and also meant to boost intimacy between you and your partner.
Understand that if you both focus on giving the other pleasure, there is little that could go wrong.
Just you rid yourself of these misconceptions, you’ll discover that a healthy relationship and satisfying sex is not far-fetched at all.
12. Learn and Improve
The greatest thing you can do in your marriage is the willingness and readiness to learn new things and improve on existing acts or behaviors.
If you have a close mind, your sex life will be monotonous and boring but if you’re willing to gain new knowledge or insights, you’ll keep the fire burning for long.
There are various ways you can learn and improve on what you already know, YouTube and Google are great channels to learn.
You can attend marriage seminars, sex conferences, couple dinners and so on. And you can also invest in books like the one you are reading presently.
Don’t just read, however, keep an open mind about what you are learning.
Well, we have come to the conclusion.
I am sure you have been able to learn something.
And like I said, keep an open mind.
This post will not be useful to you if you keep a closed-mind.
But if you open your mind, your sex life will not be the same again and your husband will definitely appreciate you better.