In the past couple of months, I’ve read about an unbelievable number of celebrities in my country who got married to their affair partners.
Both parties left their original partners and got married to their affair partners.
So it’s safe to say that if you’re in an affair and hoping or wondering if it’ll lead to marriage, it just might.
But after the marriage, what happens?
This article will delve into a topic that is rarely spoken about on many relationship blogs, and that is the aftermath of marrying your affair partner.
What are the realities you face when you marry your affair partner?
Please read on.
17 Things You Get When You Marry An Affair Partner- The Good, The Bad, The Ugly
1. Satisfaction
Your marriage to your affair partner is most likely to be characterized first by satisfaction.
Finally!
The hide-and-seek is over.
The chase has ended, and they’re finally yours legally, to have and to hold.
It’s no longer illegal, and people can no longer raise an eyebrow or roll their eyes at you.
Well, the truth is that they still might, but even if they do, at least It is now a legal union.
You may feel an overwhelming sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
The guilt of being in an affair is no longer there, and now you’re just happy.
You feel prioritized and important because they chose you.
They chose you enough to decide to marry you and make you a life partner despite the circumstances of the relationship.
This alone brings another level of validation for both of you, further heightening your satisfaction.
2. Excitement and passion
The passion and excitement you have been experiencing before will now find full expression.
For them to have been your affair partner, you had chemistry
Now that you’re married, you have all the time and opportunity to express those raging feelings fully.
All those times when you felt jiggy for them but had to wait for the right opportunity to meet them are now over.
Now, they’re all yours.
No hiding, no waiting, no secrets.
The fact that they chose you intensifies the feelings, creating a strong sense of passion and excitement in the relationship.
It’s almost like you’re in heaven; the adventure and thrill is second to none.
You can now do what you were formerly doing with guilt with confidence and freedom.
3. Emotional fulfillment
You’re likely to feel a sense of emotional bond and fulfillment, the one that was missing in your previous relationship.
Emotional fulfillment is coming from a place of fondness and attraction that drew you to them in the first place.
But now, it’s even higher because you’re now in a more solid relationship.
Your shared history creates a foundation for a unique bond between you, making the experience one for the books.
One of the things that strengthens relationships is challenges, and you both have had your fair share of them, going through the process of ending a previous relationship and starting a new one together.
You understand them better and feel more understood than you were in your previous relationship.
You may also discover shared values or beliefs that you weren’t aware of before; having come this far together, there’s more that connects you, and marriage may help you discover that.
4. Passion and newness
When you get married to your affair partner, what you get is a renewed sense of passion.
You wake up every morning next to them feeling unbelievably excited.
It’s really happening; they’re finally yours!
It almost feels surreal, and you’re amazed at the new turn your life is taking.
It feels like the start of a new chapter, opening you up to personal growth and self-reflection.
Having learned from your previous relationship’s mistakes, you may feel more stable, mature, and wiser.
You have a clean slate now and are determined to build a healthier, more honest partnership.
This optimism is one of the feelings you may experience.
5. You feel like your true self
Perhaps before this time, you felt trapped and unhappy.
Your previous relationship wasn’t satisfying you, and you felt out of place with your ex.
A new era has come, and you are exactly where you want to be.
You may feel more authentic to yourself in your marriage with your affair partner.
You feel like you’re right where you should be, and nothing else matters.
Your marriage to your affair partner has brought you happiness and fulfillment.
You both have chosen to build a life together despite the challenges you may face.
6. Acceptance
If there’s one thing every human intrinsically craves, it is acceptance.
Especially coming from a unique such as the one you had, you will crave validation.
And what better place to find acceptance and understanding than in your affair partner’s arms?
You both find comfort and familiarity with each other’s flaws and past mistakes.
This further fosters a strong sense of companionship.
9. Passionate commitment
Your commitment is fueled by a passion for each other.
The decision to marry despite societal judgment may reflect your deep commitment to each other.
You feel safe in each other’s arms because you possibly had shared secrets and conspiracies during the affair.
There’s mutual support to help each other through the fallout of your previous relationships.
These things may create passionate commitment and a sense of intimacy between you.
8. Family unity
Although this doesn’t happen often, it does happen for some people.
People who marry their affair partners may find a new level of family unity.
If both parties have children from previous relationships, marrying their affair partner can build a new family that easily bonds.
9. Commitment to change
You and your affair partner may develop a desire to make things work.
Given your past, you understand the complexities of relationships and marriages, so you have decided to do better now.
Both of you may commit to building a new relationship based on honesty, trust, and communication in the future.
This is why you may see someone come out of one relationship or marriage where they didn’t seem to be putting in the work, only for that person to meet someone else and suddenly be close to perfection.
They now understand that they must do something differently for their relationship to change.
This may just be your experience.
10. Guilt
Like a coin, this also has two sides, and since we have extensively examined the good sides, let’s examine the other side.
One feeling that most people in this situation have to deal with is guilt.
Yes, you’re now official and perhaps legal, but through what route?
The constant reminder that you each betrayed your partner is silently there, making you somewhat miserable.
There’s a feeling of guilt and shame about the fact that this marriage started as an affair, and the feeling may linger, affecting your self-esteem and emotional well-being.
11. Social stigma
No matter how many times we’re told to pay little attention to people’s comments and not seek their validation, the truth is that it always somehow gets to us.
Marriages like the one you’re in currently are catalysts for rumors and stigma.
If you remain in the same location as you were with your previous partner, you know that tongues will wag no matter what part of the world you live in.
Marrying an affair partner can result in social stigma and harsh judgment from friends, family, and the broader community.
No matter how genuine or valid your reasons for this new marriage may be, most people just won’t understand; they’ll only see that you betrayed your previous partner and judge you.
The fact that every time people see you both, what they see are two sinners can cause a strain on you both and your marriage.
12. Trust issues
Now, let us talk about the elephant in the room: lack of trust.
You both know how you got to where you are now: betrayal of your previous partner’s trust.
No matter how hard you try to justify your decision and the unique feelings you have for each other that made you do what you did, the truth remains that you cheated, and it can happen again.
Yes, people grow and change, and you may be trying to rebuild trust in this new relationship, but there’ll always be a silent reminder of what happened.
Insecurity lingers in the air constantly.
The knowledge that you were capable of infidelity in the past may breed insecurity and fear of betrayal again in the future.
Both partners may struggle with trust issues, knowing that their relationship began under deceitful circumstances, which could lead to ongoing doubts and insecurities.
This distrust may not come from your affair partner alone; it may also come from others.
You may observe that friends and family members may harbor distrust towards you or your affair partner.
This can make it challenging for you both to integrate each other into social circles and family gatherings.
It’s painful to be judged by your past, but this is a reality you almost can’t avoid.
13. Lack of closure
If you get married to your affair partner, there are a few things you need to prepare for.
One of those things is issues from the past resurfacing.
Unresolved issues from you or your partner’s previous relationships may resurface.
And this can hinder the ability to commit to and invest in your new marriage fully.
14. Emotional baggage
Some relationships come with emotional baggage, and a marriage to an affair partner is one of those relationships.
Sometimes, I humorously ask my man why he dated anyone before me.
I mean, why didn’t he just have some magical powers to know that I am the one and wait for me?
Why did he have to have an ex?
Although I say this as a joke, and we both always laugh it off, somewhere within me, I actually wouldn’t have minded if we were each other’s firsts.
Going through different relationships may leave people with baggage.
Coming from a situation like yours, it’s more likely to happen.
Either of you may carry emotional baggage from your previous relationships, which could manifest as unresolved trauma, resentment, or unresolved conflicts.
15. Comparison with previous relationships
Because of the unique complexities associated with your marriage, you both may find yourselves trapped in the sea of comparison.
You may compare your current relationship with the previous ones, which rarely leads to anything good.
It creates feelings of inadequacy or resentment.
16. Legal complications
If the issues you have to deal with are only from within, it may be easier to handle.
But sometimes, legal battles can come in the mix.
If either of you was married to your previous partner, you’ll have to deal with divorce proceedings together.
This may also involve custody battles from previous marriages that can create legal complications and financial strain on your marriage.
17. Loss of respect
Despite your love for each other, you may experience a loss of respect in your marriage.
The disrespect may come from people, including you or your partner’s children, which may be easier to deal with than when it comes from your partner.
Some affair partners may develop resentment and disrespect for each other over time, trivializing each other because of how they got together.
All of these can lead to strained relationships and emotional turmoil.
While these are all potential outcomes of marrying your affair partner, everyone’s experience is unique and depends on their dynamics.
Ultimately, you have to recognize that the decision to marry an affair partner can have complex and long-lasting consequences, both positive and negative.