“What if he is innocent?”
“What if she is innocent?”
When you make that decision to accuse your partner of cheating, you must be able to answer this question beyond reasonable doubt…
If you can’t, then you are merely casting aspersions at a person that you should be communicating with effectively.
Being accused of cheating can be very traumatizing when you are actually innocent.
I don’t need anyone to tell me about the pain of being accused of infidelity falsely because I have experienced it and still have to deal with the trauma that comes with it.
How do innocent people react when they are accused of cheating?
If you have ever been in this situation, you would attest to the fact that you felt a myriad of emotions, all of them very intense, and if you are being totally honest, you may also admit that the relationship never returned to what it used to be.
However, many people don’t understand what it feels like to be falsely accused of infidelity.
Let’s talk about the reactions of innocent people when they are accused of cheating.
Knowing this will help you to effectively deal with the fallout of accusing your partner falsely.
Come along!
6 Ways An Innocent Person Reacts When Accused Of Cheating
1. Shock
This is the most common reaction of an innocent person to any form of accusation… shock!
Just imagine going about your business, and suddenly, the police pull up and arrest you for someone’s murder….
Imagine the shock you would feel.
That’s exactly how an innocent person feels when they are accused of cheating.
They just can’t believe what their ears are hearing and may even ask you to repeat yourself.
The shock is immediately followed by disbelief.
They would refuse to believe that you just accused them of cheating.
When I was accused of cheating by my girlfriend, I couldn’t believe my ears.
I just wondered if she was actually trying to prank me because it really made no sense to me.
In my mind, I hadn’t even given her the slightest reason to think of me as a cheat.
This shock is what actual cheats aspire to fake when they are challenged.
However, even the best of actors really can’t keep up acting when there is proof of their infidelity.
This is why I would always advise that you get irrefutable proof that your partner is cheating before accusing them.
2. Feelings of betrayal
After the feelings of shock and disbelief fade away, another dangerous emotion takes their place.
An innocent person will feel betrayed when they are falsely accused of cheating.
This is because they feel like you are supposed to be the last person to accuse them of things they didn’t do.
Most people feel like their partners should know that there is a limit to the things that they can do, even in the worst-case scenario.
For many people, cheating is a deal breaker for any relationship, and being accused of such by their partner even when they are innocent is a sign that their partners don’t trust them.
When I was falsely accused by my girlfriend, I felt hurt that she had so little trust in me.
Really, any relationship that isn’t built on love and trust can’t work.
You may have trusted each other in the past, but if you ever get to the point that you can accuse your partner of cheating falsely, it’s a terrible sign for the relationship.
Many people actually continue to make excuses for cheating partners until it becomes too obvious for them to deny it anymore.
3. Anger
This is the natural reaction of someone who feels like they are being betrayed.
After the initial shock and feeling of betrayal at being accused of cheating, the next emotion that gains expression is anger.
They will feel anger because you are casting shadows on their reputation.
This is because before you can even accuse them of cheating, you must have discussed your doubts with someone, probably your friend or friends.
Either way, you have made them look bad in front of someone or people who didn’t think of them that way before.
They may also feel like you are questioning their integrity.
If they have promised to stay with you against all odds and you are accusing them falsely, it feels really unjust and unnecessary.
I felt this, too…
I was angry at her and myself.
I was angry at myself because I felt like I was a fool for committing to someone who didn’t trust me.
I was angry at her because she made me feel that way.
Like I said earlier, being accused of cheating falsely will cause you to experience a rollercoaster of emotions.
4. Defensiveness
Of course, after the anger, the next step in the emotional journey of an innocent person falsely accused of cheating is defensiveness.
They will feel defensive because they didn’t do what they are being accused of.
They will feel even more defensive because you have doubted their love and commitment to the relationship.
Defensiveness will lead to the next reaction…
5. They will want to explain and resolve the situation.
When you accuse your partner of cheating falsely, they will feel the need to defend themselves.
They will attempt to make you recall every single instance that made you believe they were cheating on you and provide explanations about everything.
Ever since a court trial with the defense lawyer, meticulously making his case, providing alibis and witnesses…
After stating the facts showing that they are innocent, they will be willing to discuss the accusations.
At least the accusations didn’t just originate in thin air…
Something must have happened to make you feel that way.
They will try to address the accusations and show you that they are trustworthy.
This is how an innocent person may react to being falsely accused.
Except…
6. They withdraw
This is quite an understandable reaction to being falsely accused of cheating.
After defending themselves, sometimes, the innocent party may just withdraw into their shells and keep to themselves because they are hurt.
By doing this, they are actually showing you that not only do they consider cheating to be a deal breaker, but they also consider being falsely accused of cheating to be a deal breaker.
It is a sign that falsely accusing them of cheating may just be the straw that broke the camel’s back, in this case, the act that ended the relationship.
The fact is that when you accuse your partner of cheating on you, and it turns out that they are innocent, it leaves an indelible mark on the relationship.
It leads to resentment, regular fights, and conflicts and may even bring about the end of the relationship.
It may also lead to fear and insecurity concerning the relationship because your partner may not feel so secure in the relationship anymore.
This is why you shouldn’t just accuse your partner of cheating without having any proof.
There are no good outcomes from falsely accusing your innocent partner of cheating on you.
However, there are ways that even such a tense situation can be defused.
It requires a readiness to admit that you are wrong and to express yourself in an effective manner.
Let’s consider these ways:
5 Ways To Handle False Accusation From Partners
You need to note something important before we move on: both partners are involved in this process, not just the accuser.
1. Communicate effectively
When your partner falsely accuses you of cheating, you may be tempted to blow your top.
In fact, you will be justified if that was your reaction.
However, there’s a better way to react.
Show your disappointment and hurt.
Show how shocked you are that your partner thinks so little of you.
However, never forget the fact that “there’s no smoke without fire.”
If your partner is accusing you of cheating on them, then it is a sign that there are underlying Issues in the relationship that need to be sorted out.
Defending yourself won’t help resolve the issues.
But communicating effectively with your partner and listening to the reasons they felt you were cheating on them will give you a better idea of what’s wrong in your relationship.
2. Avoid doing things that would sow the seed of doubt
Trust doesn’t just automatically come with love; it is built and earned over time.
If you have realized from your conversations with your partner that you contributed to their distrust by some of your actions, then it is time that you make a decision not to do things that will sow the seed of doubt in your relationship.
This doesn’t relieve your partner of the responsibility of causing rifts in the relationship by making unverified claims.
Your partner needs to take responsibility for that, and moving on, you should be intentional about your communication.
3. Be transparent
Try to avoid keeping secrets from your partner.
These are among the things that fuel paranoia and distrust in relationships.
Being secretive may have led to your partner being so suspicious of you that they accused you of cheating on them even when you were innocent.
You could try a little bit of transparency moving forward.
Transparency is important in relationships…
It helps to convince your partner that their trust isn’t misplaced.
4. Practice self-love
There’s something I have been waiting to say right from the start…
Your partner may be accusing you falsely of cheating on them because they are just being controlling and abusive.
It’s not surprising for abusive partners to come up with some kind of accusations out of the blue just to justify their poor treatment of you.
Then they apologize and tell you that you made them do it.
Standard manipulation from a toxic partner.
If your partner falsely accuses you of cheating all the time, you may need to start considering that they are being abusive.
You should practice the act of self-love.
Start investing in yourself and focusing on yourself.
You would realize that you have kept yourself in a relationship that has steadily eaten away at your sense of self-worth.
5. Leave the relationship
What’s a ship without a rudder, a car without an engine, and a relationship without trust?
A pure waste of time… that’s what it is.
It’s in your best interest to leave any relationship you may be having with someone who consistently accuses you of cheating on them when you are actually innocent.
You don’t deserve to be treated like that, to live life like you are walking on eggshells around your partner.
You deserve someone who trusts you and knows that you won’t cheat on them.
You deserve better!