“Sidechicking” is on the increase today as some men seem to be unsatisfied with having just one woman in their lives.
These kinds of men keep girls who they call “side chicks” by the side while having committed relationships or even married.
It is usually a secret affair.
A side chick is a female who is having a romantic or sexual affair with a man who is already married or has a fiancée.
Just as the main implies, she is just by the side.
She is available to gratify the sexual desires of the man.
While some know they are just by the side and not the main babe, some are oblivious to this.
They feel they are the main babes.
However, there are signs to look out for just to ascertain if you are the one he loves or if you are just the “side babe.”
Some men are pros in this game, and if you want to beat them, you will need to be one step ahead of them.
These are signs you are the side chick:
11 Signs You Are The Side Chick
1. He rarely has time for you
A man who loves you will go all the way to ensure he makes time for you, even if he has a tight schedule.
When a man who claims to love you rarely has time for you, and you have to be the one to always beg for his time and attention, just know that something is wrong somewhere.
He would always talk about how busy he is and how his business or work requires maximum attention, and he just can’t find time for you both.
The truth is, he might be juggling you and his main lady, so he won’t always have time for you.
2. He refuses to introduce you to friends and family
It is no lie that men know what they want, and when they get it, they are ready to let everyone who cares about them know.
If you both have been in a relationship for some time, and he has refused to introduce you to the people he holds in high esteem, and each time you raise the issue, he tries to dissuade you by telling you that it’s not yet time, just know that something is fishy.
However, he can introduce you to friends like himself who know about his shenanigans.
3. You don’t know where he lives
A man who sees you as a side chick will most probably not bring you to his home.
He knows his home is out of bounds for a side chick.
Such a man would prefer that his babe is living alone so that he can come there to have a “nice time” but will never bring you to their house.
If he’s a married man, he would never allow you to know where he lives nor know who his wife is.
His place is totally out of bounds for you, so also, if he’s unmarried but has a fiancée, he won’t allow you to know where he is living as he wouldn’t want a situation where you and his fiancée will meet at his place.
If at all he allows you to know where he lives, he is going to let you know when to visit and when not to.
He is sure to play his game so well that he gets to invite you when the coast is clear.
His relationship is so precious to him that he wouldn’t want anyone to ruin it for him.
4. He doesn’t involve you in his short-term and long-term plans
Because he doesn’t see you in his future, he doesn’t consider you worthy of knowing his plans.
He could let you in on a few things, but you can never know deep things about him.
He would rather prefer that you share your plans with him than he shares his with you.
He believes he doesn’t owe you an explanation about what he intends to do and the steps he wants to take.
He knows that sharing his plans with you is tantamount to seeing yourself in his future, and he doesn’t see you there; hence, he would rather not share it with you.
5. He sets boundaries that you can’t cross
The moment he sees that you are crossing your boundary continually by seeking information he is not willing to give out, he will cut away from you, and that marks the end of the relationship.
He believes that it is important to set boundaries and respect them in order for a relationship to work.
When he sets such boundaries, he expects you to abide by them; any attempt on your part to cross such boundaries will quickly bring the relationship to an end.
He wants someone who respects his privacy but is also willing to share her life with him.
He wants someone who will respect his boundaries and not try to pry into his personal matters.
That’s when you’ll start suspecting you are probably his side chick because the emotional intimacy/bonding is missing.
6. He keeps his affairs private
He gives you a time of when to call.
If he is married, he will tell you when to call and when not to call.
He does most of the calls because he wouldn’t want you to call when his wife is there so that it doesn’t raise any suspicion.
He calls when his wife is not available or when he is outside the home.
You might already be wondering why he never calls you at home or why he says he’ll call you back whenever he’s at home.
7. Your relationship is not defined
A man who sees you as a side chick doesn’t have the intention to define whatever it is you both are doing.
He knows you are there for a reason and for a season; hence, there’s no clear-cut definition of where the relationship is headed.
He won’t even make an attempt to have you both talk about the relationship and what it means for both of you.
He is content with leaving things blurred and undefined; he leaves no room for expectations or commitment.
You are there to provide a service, nothing more, nothing less.
8. He’s only concerned about the benefit he’s getting from you
He is with you because of what he is gaining from you and nothing more, and the moment he senses that you’re no longer willing to be at his service, that marks an end to whatever it is you both share.
He doesn’t care about providing you with the same level of support and attention.
If it isn’t benefiting him in any way, he will have no interest in staying involved.
9. He expects your complete loyalty and dedication
This type of guy will expect you to be completely devoted to him despite not providing any of the above in return.
He’ll make demands that are unreasonable while also expecting you to meet his needs without much consideration for your own.
The only thing he cares about is getting what he wants when it comes to you, usually sex..
Your relationship will involve one-sidedness, with him always trying to get the upper hand in terms of what he gets out of it.
9. He’s secretive with his phone and social media
A guy who makes you his side chick will be extremely secretive with his phone, laptop, and social media accounts.
He’ll be reluctant to share his passwords or even let you use his device.
His behavior might make it seem like he has something to hide, like another relationship or some other form of betrayal.
10. He avoids commitments
This is perhaps one of the most obvious signs that you are a side chick.
He’ll never make any definitive plans to spend time with you.
He may even rush out of your place after sex instead of spending the night or at least cuddling for a while.
11. Your instincts tell you
You might feel something in your gut telling you that he’s being unfaithful to someone else.
Even if the two of you may have never actually discussed being exclusive, your instincts are usually right.
If his behavior is making you question what type of relationship you’re really in, you might be thinking right.
When you see these signs and more, it is a pointer to the fact that you are probably not the main chick in his life.
Take some time to think about how you want your relationship to look, and don’t be afraid to have that discussion with him.
Pay more attention to him and be sure you are suspecting right.
Then honor your feelings, and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.