If there’s one thing I know about men, it’s this:
They can smile and make eye contact with one or two women for a whole year but never ask her out on a date or even get so close as to ask her name or get her number or her social media handles.
In the online space, they can send private chats and messages to you for months but never ask for more personal details or even request for a date.
If you are on the receiving end of these smiles and eye contacts or messages and chats, it can leave you wondering if there’s something you aren’t doing right.
You may wonder if you aren’t beautiful, attractive, smart, or intelligent enough to hold and keep a man’s attention and get him to ask you out or even request your number.
I need you to know that it isn’t your fault.
I need you also to understand that you are dealing with a full-grown adult who has preferences and choices, and you have no control over whatever choices he makes, including the decision to ask you out.
Now that I’ve mentioned this, here are some reasons guys flirt with you but never ask you out.
9 Reasons Guys Flirt With You But Never Ask You Out
1. He isn’t really interested in you.
When a guy becomes really interested in a lady, we all know the drill.
Nothing stops him.
He goes all out and tries to capture the object of his interest, and he also works hard to be on his best behavior and show genuine interest, love, and care.
If he flirts with you and doesn’t take it further, then it’s possible he isn’t really interested in you.
2. He has an intense fear of rejection.
He has feelings for you, and he wants to ask you out on a date and get some personal details of yours.
However, he isn’t sure you are interested, and he knows he’d feel bad if he made a move and you turned him down.
Some guys are so afraid of rejection that they’d rather be content with flirting with you and taking time to weigh their options and see if you are interested in them before he asks the question.
By the way, this can be a good sign because it shows you aren’t dealing with a habitual flirt or a player.
3. He’s shady.
In other words, he’s hiding something or someone, and that’s probably the reason he doesn’t want you to come close to him.
A marriage, a family, an ex he’s still obsessed with, and many other women he flirts with.
Whichever it is, learn to trust your instincts. If you feel something is off, then it’s most likely true, and you should tread carefully.
You need to keep an eye on him, and if you are really interested in him, you may go further and conduct your investigation.
4. He is a playboy and flirtatious by nature.
Honestly, I wish I didn’t have to mention my professional colleague again, but whenever I read something about guys who flirt or guys who are players, he is the first person I remember.
This man can flirt with ten ladies in one day and ask them out at different times, and he says he isn’t afraid of rejection.
In fact, he thinks it increases his chances of going to bed with at least two ladies in a week.
I haven’t understood how a man can be that flirtatious, but if a man like my colleague flirts with you and never asks you out, it is because it’s who he is, a player who isn’t interested in committing to a relationship with a lady.
There are many other ladies he flirts with, too, and it has nothing to do with you.
5. He feels it’s inappropriate to ask you out.
He is interested in you and thinks of asking you out, but it feels inappropriate to do so.
He could be your boss, a senior colleague, a best friend to your sister, or a close friend of an ex.
In any of these scenarios, you’ll agree with me that it’s likely to feel awkward and inappropriate to make a move and ask you out.
6. He is merely reciprocating your moves.
This might come as a surprise, but sis, it’s possible you started flirting with him first.
In other words, you made the first flirtatious move, and being a gentleman who doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or make you feel like a cheap whore, he decided to go with the flow so as not to hurt your feelings.
For him, it’s nothing deep, and he doesn’t need to take things further.
7. He enjoys your attention.
He isn’t ready or looking for a relationship but flirting with him makes him feel alive and desired.
He enjoys the attention he gets from you, and it brightens his day.
If this is the case, he will likely keep it at that level and has no desire to let you come close or ask you out.
8. He has something going on in his life.
Something that might be keeping him from being active and committed romantically.
It could be financial issues, debts, health issues, or a deep family crisis, and he is so focused on getting it right or, at least, managing the situation as much as he can that a relationship isn’t a priority.
Simply put, he is emotionally unavailable, so there’s no need to ask you out or give you the impression that he’s interested in you.
9. You are misinterpreting him.
Yeah. Tell me this is hard to hear, and I’ll agree with you, but it’s a possibility.
I know this because, as a young girl, I’ve always guarded myself against misinterpreting a guy’s jovial and friendly gesture towards me.
Until a guy asks me out and asks me to date him, I don’t ever assume he likes me or will ask me out just because exchanged one or two looks and smiles.
It’s possible the guy is friendly and jovial, and you are misinterpreting his moves as flirtatious.
While I’ll always advise you to trust your instincts, you still need to strike a balance.
Not every guy wants a relationship with you, and not every guy wants to ask you out.
Some guys just develop a genuine likeness for you with no strings attached, and it’s okay.
A guy who fits into one, two, or more of these scenarios will not ask you out.
He will not make an effort to have your personal details, and he’ll be content with the smiles and looks you two exchange, and it’s okay.
As I said earlier, he’s a human being, an adult who has the right to make choices, and you aren’t responsible for those choices of his.
However, if you truly desire to go on a date with someone you’ve been flirting with, feel free to ask questions.
You may or may not be direct about it but find a way to know what he has in mind. You may discover he’s also interested in you as much as you are in him.
On the other hand, if you don’t feel up to it, it’s still okay.
You can also decide to keep flirting with him or cut him off and move on.
Whatever works for you is totally fine, provided you keep in mind that it’s nothing deep and nothing emotional.
This will save you from blaming yourself for something you can’t control and keep your heart open so that when a genuinely interested guy comes along, you’ll be ready and available.