If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship, you know how tough that sh*t could be.
All my relationships were long-distance.
You miss your partner, you can’t just spontaneously meet up for coffee or a movie, and phone calls and Skype sessions can only do so much.
But even though long-distance relationships are tough, that doesn’t mean they’re impossible.
In fact, with a little bit of effort (and a lot of communication), long-distance relationships can actually be really great.
But before you get too ahead of yourself, let’s take a step back and look at the hard facts.
Here are twelve brutal truths about long-distance relationships that you need to know before getting started.
12 Harsh Facts About Long Distance Relationships
1. You’ll never stop missing your partner
No matter how long you’ve been together or how often you talk on the phone or Skype, there will always be a part of you that misses your partner.
And that’s OK!
Just because you miss your partner doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t strong or that you’re not meant to be together.
It just means that you’re human, and being apart from the love of your life is no child’s play.
2. You have to work harder than couples who live close to each other
Long-distance relationships require a lot more effort than regular relationships—there are no two ways about it.
If you want your relationship to last, you’ll need to put in the extra work to make sure it does.
This means frequent communication, planning visits and surprises for each other, and even learning how to trust one another despite the physical distance.
If you aren’t ready for the challenge, long-distance relationships may not be the best fit for you.
3. You’ll never stop feeling jealous of couples who live close to each other
One of the hardest things about being in a long-distance relationship is feeling like you’re missing out on all the “regular” couple things that people who live close to each other get to do.
From going on spontaneous coffee dates to being able to see each other every day, there’s a lot that you’ll miss out on by being in a long-distance relationship.
And you know what?
It’s very normal.
4. You’ll have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable
In a long-distance relationship, you’ll often have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because there will be times when you feel lonely, frustrated, and sad.
You’ll always have this inevitable feeling of discomfort that comes from not being able to see or touch your partner as often as you’d like.
And let’s not forget the time zone differences, which makes communication even more challenging.
Sometimes, you’ll feel disconnected, and worse, you can’t reach your partner for a hug, except e-hugs, of course. lol
5. You’ll need to learn how to communicate effectively
In any relationship, communication is key.
But in long-distance relationships, it’s even more important because you can’t be together as much.
Long-distance relationships require great communication in order to work—plain and simple.
You’ll need to learn how to communicate effectively so that when you chat or video call, you make the most of your time together.
You can plan out or discuss topics before each conversation.
Also, be open and honest with each other, and don’t be afraid to ask questions in order to get a better understanding of where the other person is coming from.
Because you can easily misunderstand each other when you are not physically together.
6. You’re likely to fight more
Without the luxury of face-to-face interactions, things can easily get lost in translation.
Misunderstandings are bound to happen, and frustrations will bubble up from time to time.
Also, not being able to resolve conflicts in person can make it tougher to find a resolution.
On top of that, the physical distance itself can be a source of tension.
Feeling lonely, missing your partner, or dealing with the dreaded FOMO when they’re out having a good time without you can all contribute to arguments.
7. Trust is oxygen
Trust is like oxygen in a long-distance relationship; it’s absolutely essential for its survival.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you can’t physically be there to see what your partner is doing or who they’re hanging out with.
That means you have to rely heavily on trust.
Without trust, doubts, and insecurities can start creeping in, leading to jealousy, misunderstandings, and even bigger issues down the line.
If you want your long-distance relationship to work, you’ll need to be able to trust each other.
8. Increased expenses
In short, long-distance relationships cost more.
You need money to run a long-distance relationship.
You need to be able to afford airfare and hotel stays, phone costs and internet bills, gifts, and other tokens of your affection.
These expenses can add up quickly and put a strain on your budget.
You need to make sure your finances are in order and that you’re both comfortable with the amount of money being spent on your relationship.
9. The future might be uncertain
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it’s not always clear when or how the distance will come to an end.
You might be living apart for school, work, or family reasons, and the timeline for reuniting can be hazy.
This uncertainty can create a unique kind of stress as you both try to plan your lives around the unknown.
You might even be constantly asking questions like:
”When will we be able to live in the same city again?”
”When are we going to get married, or are we ever going to get married?”
”Will this last?”
”Will one of us need to make a career sacrifice?”
”Can we find a solution that works for both of our individual goals?”
The list goes on.
So yeah, the feelings of uncertainty are real.
10. Physical intimacy is limited
Physical touch is an essential aspect of any romantic relationship, but it’s something that’s often lacking in long-distance relationships.
The lack of hugs, cuddles, or simply holding hands can make it more challenging to maintain a strong emotional connection.
If you are big on physical touch or physical touch is your love language, you’ll find this tough.
11. Safety concerns
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you may not always know who or what your partner is doing when they’re away from home.
So you’ll be worried about their physical safety in a different city or country, their emotional well-being, or even online safety if you’re communicating through digital channels.
Communication is key here, as it is for any relationship.
To alleviate each other’s safety concerns, make sure that you keep each other updated on your whereabouts and activities, talk about any potential risks when traveling or meeting new people, and be open with one another so that you can both take the necessary precautions.
12. Possibility of growing apart
People change and evolve over time, and when you’re in a long-distance relationship, there’s a risk that you and your partner might grow in different directions.
Since you and your partner are living separately, you might start growing in different ways, pursuing new interests, or setting different goals.
This will be tough, especially if you two start wanting different things in life.
It’s like you’re on separate paths that are moving further away from each other.
And this makes it harder to stay connected and maintain a strong relationship.
These challenges don’t mean a long-distance relationship is doomed to fail.
They’re just some of the obstacles you might encounter along the way.
Long-distance relationships are not a walk in the park, but they can be worth it if you and your partner put in the effort to make things work.