12 Clear Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You

You are dating a guy, but you have a feeling that something is not right in the relationship because you are overwhelmed by the demands of the relationship; this is probably because you are being used.

Don’t get it twisted; every relationship has its demands.

However, both parties have to put in the work.

It takes two to Tango, doesn’t it?

If you always feel cheated or outsmarted, it’s probably because your boyfriend has got ulterior motives for being in the relationship.

You want to be sure of the reasons behind your feelings?

Let’s discuss some signs your boyfriend is just using you:

12 Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You

1. He makes every conversation about him

If you observe that all that matters to your boyfriend whenever you’re having a conversation or making a crucial decision is how he is affected and never how you’re affected, you are probably a tool in his hands.

He uses the pronoun ‘I’ always and hardly ever uses ‘we.’

He does not prioritize you at all.

Love is not self-seeking.

Love is selfless.

2. He expects too much of you

Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You

He has unrealistic expectations of you.

He wants you to be everything to him, while he is nothing but a nominal boyfriend to you.

If your boyfriend is too demanding and less giving, he is probably using you.

3. He is only caring when he needs your help

Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You

 If the only time your boyfriend does things to make you happy is when he needs your help, and he stops doing those things immediately he gets what he wants; this is a strong sign that he is merely using you.

 He doesn’t reach out to you except for when he has a favor to ask of you.

 He doesn’t listen to you or pay attention to your interests, only expecting you to be there for him.

4. He doesn’t identify with you in public

A man flaunts what he cherishes.

 If you notice that your boyfriend avoids introducing you as his girlfriend to his friends and family, and other people that matter to him, you should probably be worried that he has no concrete plans for the relationship.

5. He’s secretive

A secretive boyfriend will have his reasons.

One of them could be that he is not so much into you enough to confide in you or be vulnerable with you about the details of his life.

If you find your boyfriend always being evasive and never opening up to you, no matter how much you persuade him, you are probably being used to serve other purposes in the relationship.

After all, what’s the point of being in a relationship if you won’t share your life with them?

6. He doesn’t make sacrifices for you

 A relationship will sometimes require some healthy compromises and sacrifices here and there.

If you’re going out with a guy and you observe that he never goes out of his way for your sake, you should probably take a breather and rethink the relationship.

He only does things for you when it costs him very little or nothing.

If it’s demanding or inconvenient, he backs out, even though he expects you to please him at all costs and no matter how inconvenient it may be for you.

7. He doesn’t make you feel more special than his female friends

Have you been wondering why your boyfriend treats you just as he treats his other female friends?

Why he calls you the same pet names as he calls those he is not in a relationship with?

Why he does absolutely nothing to show you that you are more special to him than any other lady in his life?

This is probably it; he’s using you, and he doesn’t care about putting effort into making you feel loved and special.

8. He doesn’t care about your life goals

A man who pictures you in his future will be interested in your own future ambitions and do all he can to support you, so you both can be partners in progress.

However, when your guy can’t be bothered, there’s a possibility that he envisages no need of you in his life in the future.

He doesn’t suggest ways for you to be a better person.

He counters any move you make towards growth. 

A user boyfriend would not be receptive to a change of status of his girlfriend, most especially not a status above his. 

9. Things always go his way and never yours

Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You

If he always has the last say, he shuns your perspectives on matters; he probably doesn’t want you to think highly of yourself in the relationship.

Nobody with true intentions willfully goes against the opinion of their significant others almost always.

That’s a crimson red banner bearing the words: YOU ARE BEING USED!

10. He always blames you for everything that goes wrong

Signs Your Boyfriend is Just Using You

Even though he doesn’t entertain your views, when there’s a negative outcome, you are still to be blamed.

He finds a way to guilt-trip you for his own actions and inactions.

He would stand you up on a date and still blame you for showing up on time because you must have too much time on your hands.

He would have pictures of other women and tell you that it’s your fault for not trusting him.

11. He evades discussions about commitment

Any discussion that will lead to him revealing his concrete plans and intentions for the relationship is harshly or subtly evaded.

It’s important that he makes his intentions known.

It’s not a crime he does not want to commit, but it should be discussed so you both can reach a mutual understanding rather than leading you on under a false impression.

Avoiding such discussions is a bold sign that he’s just using you.

12. His actions don’t match his words

He is quick to tell you that he loves you, but you do not feel loved because his actions say otherwise.

A tongue doesn’t get things done, does it?

He is full of sweet words with no corresponding sweet treatment.

He tells you he respects you, but he derides you in private and public.

As Dale Carnegie opines, “Pay less attention to what men say; watch what they do.”


There’s absolutely no understandable reason why a lady who values herself would want to be treated in the manner I have described above.

By watching out for these signs, it would be hard to have you fooled.

Save yourself from a user.

You should constantly take active steps to develop yourself such that you are not empty and thereby susceptible to being used.

You’re worth far more!



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