After a partner cheats, it’s natural to feel as though your mind is clouded with questions. 

How could they do this?

Did I know them at all?

Do they care that they did this?

Was it my fault?

But the truth is, there’s no way to make sense of infidelity.

It happens when one person feels like they’re not getting what they need from their partner, so they look elsewhere for fulfillment.

The other person has no control over how their partner feels about them or about their relationship.

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling like you’re giving everything you have only to be met with rejection.

It can be difficult not to think about these things, but if you constantly dwell on them and allow yourself to overthink, you will never get over the situation and move on.

It may not be easy, but it is possible.

You can’t change the past, but you can move forward in a healthy way.

Learning how to stop overthinking after being cheated on can be a long process.

You will be okay eventually if you make the choice to move on.

Overthinking after being cheated on is exhausting, but with the help of these steps, you can get through it.



1. Accept the way you feel about it

You may never be able to understand why your partner cheated on you, but it’s important to accept the way you feel about it.

At first, it may be hard to accept what happened.

Cheating is a horrible thing that can make you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and stomped on.

You might be angry and sad, or even jealous that your partner had an affair with someone else.

You might also feel hurt or confused about why they did this to you.

Don’t try to ignore these feelings.

Those are all normal emotions and they’ll pass eventually if you give yourself time.

Accept them for what they are and allow yourself to feel them until they pass on their own time.


2. Take time for yourself


You will need space and time to process all of your emotions.

You may also need to go through the cycle of emotions that you will feel as a result of being cheated on.

Thinking too much could lead to depression or anxiety later on so, be sure to give yourself the time that you need.

It doesn’t matter if it takes a few days or a few weeks, it matters more that you’re able to move past these feelings in a healthy manner.

Take time for yourself every day so that you don’t get caught up in negative emotions.


3. Don’t try to numb your pain with alcohol or drugs

When it comes to recovering from the trauma of being cheated on, there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

It’s a process that can be difficult and painful.

It might be tempting to use alcohol or drugs as an escape mechanism.

While this might seem like a good idea at first glance, it won’t solve anything and could even worsen your situation down the road.

If you need help dealing with your emotions without using substances, consider talking to a therapist or joining a support group.


4. Give yourself permission to grieve


It’s normal for people who have been cheated on to feel sad over the loss of their relationship and all of the dreams they had for their future together.

It’s also normal for them to feel angry about having their trust violated, so allow yourself to be angry and sad and hurt.

Let yourself cry.

Take some time off from work, if you can, so that you can focus on healing.

If you’re having trouble getting out of bed in the morning because your heart is still broken, take a few days off from work.

Spend time with friends or family who know how to help you heal.


5. Don’t take it personally

It’s easy to think that your partner cheated because they didn’t love you enough or because there’s something wrong with you.

That’s not true at all.

If your partner cheated on you, it was their choice to do so, not yours.

If they did it to you, they’ll cheat on any partner they’re with.

While it’s natural to feel angry at yourself for not being able to prevent the cheating from happening, this won’t help you get through the situation any faster.

In fact, it will just make things worse by causing more unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Don’t blame yourself for what happened.


6. Get rid of anything that reminds you of them

Getting over someone after being cheated on is hard enough, but when you are left with a ton of reminders of your ex, it can be even harder.

It may seem like an extreme measure but this will help in getting over your partner and moving on with your life.

Having reminders around can make it harder for your brain to process what happened and for you to move forward without him in your life.

This includes pictures, gifts, and personal items such as clothing or jewelry.

If possible, throw them away or donate them to charity so they don’t cause any more pain in the future.


7. Talk to someone you can trust

If you’re feeling upset or alone after being cheated on, talk to someone who cares about you.

A close friend or family member can help you deal with it.

If you’re having a hard time talking about your feelings with your friends or family, talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you figure out what’s going on in your head and help you work through it in a healthy way.

If you have friends or family members who have been through something similar to what you’re going through, you can also consider talking with them about it.


8. Find a source of stress relief


You may not be able to stop it altogether, but if you can find an outlet that relieves some of the pressure, it will help make your mind a little quieter and less prone to overthinking.

Some suggestions include exercising, practicing mindfulness which involves focusing on the present moment, taking walks outside and getting enough sleep at night.

If you have a hobby or passion that you love, do it.

It can be anything from yoga to painting or writing, whatever helps you feel good.

When you’re doing something you enjoy, it’s easier to put all those negative thoughts out of your mind.


9. Take responsibility for your part

This doesn’t mean that you’re fully responsible for the cheating or that you deserved it in any way.

One of the biggest reasons people get stuck in the cycle of overthinking is because they don’t take responsibility for the part they played in what happened.

If you think it was just the other person’s fault, you’re going to be much more likely to hold a grudge and replay what happened over and over again in your mind.

When we don’t take responsibility, we look at ourselves as victims and then we want someone else to pay for what they did to us.

This keeps us focused on them instead of on ourselves where our power lies.

If you want to stop overthinking, it’s imperative that you figure out what your part was.

There’s always some part.

You may not believe that right now, but if you dig deep enough, you’ll find something.

Also, recognize that you didn’t see some of the signs and that you might have been too trusting or too naive.

If a relationship is going to be successful, it is up to both people.


10. Focus on yourself


This might be the last thing you want to hear when you’re feeling emotionally drained and anxious, but it’s one of the best things you can do.

Set aside time every day to do something that makes you feel good.

A morning jog, a favorite book, or even a quick trip to the spa might help you unwind.

If you make it a priority to take care of yourself, you’ll be less likely to spend your free time ruminating over what happened.

Stop looking back at what happened and don’t try to analyze everything that went wrong.

Do things that make you happy and feel good about yourself.

Go out with your loved ones and make new friends if needed.

Take some time to discover who you are again as an individual.

Get out of the house and make plans with friends who will lift your spirits.

You may also want to try meditation or yoga to get in touch with your body and clear your mind.

When you’re not dwelling on what happened, you’ll have more energy for the things that are truly important in your life: your family, friends, career, health, and other goals.

Staying busy doesn’t mean distracting yourself with anything that comes your way to keep you from thinking about what happened.

It means doing things that will nurture your mind, body and soul.

You can fill your time with traveling, exploring new places or activities, getting back into hobbies, or pursuing other things that will make you feel good about yourself.



Recovering is a process and not an event.

You can’t just get over it, you have to work through all the emotions that come with being cheated on.

There are many different ways to get over being cheated on.

Some people can get over it within a few weeks; others need months or even years.

No matter how long it takes, adhere to the steps you can take that will help you move forward with your life as quickly as possible.

Don’t let being cheated on doom your mental health.

Remember that in real life, there are no do-overs, so don’t waste too much time on what-ifs.

You can’t change what happened.

Remind yourself that overthinking the situation will not bring peace or resolution.

Realize that the person who cheated is showing their true colors.

Keep focused on your own life, which has meaning and value independent of your ex’s actions.

You can move on from being cheated on if you avoid ruminating about what happened.



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