The answer to the question of ‘when’ to get married varies among people, cultures, and contrasting societies.
And it is different with guys.
Some want to take their time deciding ‘when’ they want to marry.
Generally, this decision might be influenced by a series of factors.
Read on if you have ever wondered why guys wait so long to get married.
WHY DO GUYS WAIT SO LONG TO GET MARRIED
1. IT’S THE STAGE, NOT THE AGE
It is important to know that his age is not necessarily a factor for a guy.
Women factor in age when deciding ‘when’ to get married.
You hear statements like, ‘I should be married by 26. ‘
As beautiful as that is, it’s not the same with guys.
Guys think differently.
To a guy, his status contributes a huge deal to when he is going to be getting married.
The current stage at which he will communicate his readiness for marriage is dependent on where he sees himself in life.
He has to have achieved a certain level of success or stability before he can feel comfortable taking the leap.
It is common knowledge that in this time and age, a lot of responsibilities are placed on the guy, and these responsibilities cover diverse areas like financial, emotional, and his level of commitment.
It will not bode well with him if all of these are not yet in place before delving into marriage.
So he takes his time, which might take a long time to get ready
And so he withdraws from getting married or settling down, mainly because he is not at that ‘stage’ yet.
2. FEAR OF COMMITMENT
The decision to stay in a marriage might be the reason a guy waits so long to get married.
Commitment is hard to come by when the fear of being tied down is so much stronger.
He might have a fear of losing his freedom if he gets married, and this could be due to traumatic experiences in the past.
When you think about having to wake up to the same person every day for the rest of your days. Having to stay with that one person forever.
It takes a lot of time to get used to a person, and to stay true to that ONE person requires another determination.
In the same way, It’s hard to stay true to a particular flavor of ice cream.
Some would say I love vanilla, but strawberry slaps differently, too’ some of you even mix flavors.
While this might be a distant comparison, it is similar to how it plays out in a guy’s mind.
Therefore, commitment to a marriage is hard for him.
3. PARENTAL INFLUENCE
In many cultures, parents play a huge role in their child’s marriage. Who the son marries and where they are from will be put in question.
In African countries like Nigeria, for instance, cultural background differs, and ethnicity is distant from each other.
It is hard to choose a partner outside of your ethnic group.
Maybe his first choice of partner was from a different ethnic group, a total deviation from his biological background, and he needed his parent’s approval for a marriage to work.
The chance of approving their union is a very slim one.
Because some of these cultures still stick to tribalism.
But we would argue that love is love, right?
If they truly love each other, then the marriage should work.
As much as this is arguable, some parents will not permit it, and they will stick to the chant of ‘marry someone from your tribe.’
All of these can contribute to why it takes time for a guy to get married.
4. THE FUTURE IS STILL NOT CLEAR
Where would I be in a decade? How am I going to sustain a family?
If it’s a guy who would want to take responsibility, he would have asked these questions and made sure that he ticks them on his bucket list.
You know, we have established first that a guy is more concerned about the stage he is at before continuing to marriage.
He now has to see how the future will be and how he will be able to sustain a family. Especially in finances.
Most men want to have it all sorted out before getting married, although some couples would say that it should not be so.
That’s when you hear phrases like ‘you can build together.’
But this ideology does not apply to all guys.
They would always want the future to be ready before venturing into marriage.
The uncertainty of what tomorrow holds can delay a guy from getting married.
However, the straight truth is that we will always worry.
He just has to take that leap of faith.
5. HE IS ENJOYING BEING UNMARRIED
Living large and spending exorbitantly is everyone’s dream.
Perhaps even more realistic to a guy who is not married yet.
He cannot be held accountable for his ‘bad’ actions, as the case may be in a marriage.
In a marriage, you have to consider your partner’s opinions and corrections.
For a marriage to work, both parties must be ready to let go and listen.
Both parties have to learn financial Prudence. ‘if I am not married, my money is for myself.’
This phrase might be a hindrance and make guys wait for a long time before marriage.
Not having to share and building solely for himself becomes a daily mantra, which becomes a factor in what a guy stays long before getting married.
I see this as a sense of irresponsibility. Not wanting to face the ups and downs of marriage head-on.
But what do I know? It’s his decision.
6. HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT MARRIAGE ENTAILS
Maybe he even has it all figured out: finances are set, he strives to be responsible, he has a plan for his future, and all that.
However, the orientation about what marriage entails might be the factor lacking.
He is still trying to wrap his head around the wavy experiences of a marriage, which he has to learn.
Let’s assume his back story is that he has been an introverted kid from childhood and now just starting to dabble in romance during his adult years.
Such a person will find it difficult to enter into a union that will lead to marriage.
Therefore, he takes his time to learn and read about the concept of marriage.
Although nothing beats personal experiences. But it’s better to prepare before the Battle than to start training on the Battlefield.
Your enemy’s sword will Peirce through you like a hot knife slicing through butter!
As tragic as that seems, for a similar experience not to occur in a marriage, it’s better to prepare and take whatever time as possible.
Waiting is better than failing.
FINAL WORDS
It is not something to decipher in one day, and if you think of it, it’s entirely worth the wait.
Jumping into a marriage is dangerous when you consider all factors, especially for a guy.
However, not all guys are the same, as I have highlighted above, the reasons a guy will wait so long before getting married are relative.
Some see marriage as a burden, and some are constrained by various factors.