Is it possible to love someone without liking them?
I am sure you are reading this and thinking in your head, “Whatever he is on, it must be a really good one”…
Well, don’t conclude that I am high just yet.
Come along with me as I show you what I mean by this topic.
Remember the early phase of your relationship when it felt like your husband had eyes for you and you alone?
Do they feel like the good old days, or do you still experience them now?
If they feel like “the good old days” to you, it could be a sign that your husband loves you but doesn’t like you.
Understanding the differences between “love” and “like” would go a long way in helping you understand that it is possible for your husband to love you and still not like you.
Love is a deep, enduring commitment that usually persists even through conflicts.
The emphasis here should be on the word “commitment.”
It involves care, respect, and a desire to ensure your partner’s well-being.
However, when I say “I like you”, you would realize that what it actually means is “I enjoy your company”, “I want to do things with you”, and “I feel good about you”.
The difference between being loved and being liked is that being loved by your husband is a duty, while being liked is a pleasure.
Your husband may choose to spend time with you but it doesn’t mean he enjoys spending time with you.
When love seems like a duty that lacks the enjoyment that used to accompany it, then you need to figure out a way to infuse pleasure back into your marriage.
To do this, you must be able to recognize the signs that your husband loves you but doesn’t like you.
Come along as we explore these sure signs that your husband loves you but doesn’t like you together:
6 Signs Your Husband Loves You But Doesn’t Like You
1. He doesn’t seem to look at you anymore
One of the major signs that two people like each other deeply is frequent eye contact.
I learned this as far back as when I was in primary school.
There was this girl in class who seemed to always be looking at me.
Our eyes just kept meeting, and in my defense, I only looked because I felt someone’s eyes on me.
We didn’t even talk to each other until years later when we met again, and I realized that the same thing was still happening.
We continued talking and discovered we liked each other.
She could have been my first girlfriend, but in Nigeria, we have fixed rules about the age you need to attain before considering such.
My point is that if your husband looks at his gadgets more than he looks at you, it is a sign that he doesn’t like you.
I mean, it’s not like he doesn’t look at you anymore.
It’s just that something about his gaze doesn’t hold the same intensity as it used to.
He used to look deep into your eyes like he is attempting to peep into your soul but he now looks at you like he looks at every other person.
In fact, you may have noticed that the only time he really looks into your eyes deeply is when you are sick, and he has to take care of you.
It may not seem like much, but if this is happening in your marriage, it is a sign that your husband loves you but doesn’t like you as he used to.
2. He doesn’t really talk to you
Sometimes, you feel like screaming, “Talk to me!” at your husband.
But it didn’t start this way.
You remember those times that you would spend hours doing nothing except gisting for hours.
He would retell stories from his naughty childhood for the umpteenth time while you listened so attentively that anyone seeing you would think you were hearing the tale for the first time.
You would reminisce about stuff you did together in the past before getting married.
Somehow, even the worst experience ended up being funny in hindsight.
He would engage you with important questions and discuss serious matters with you because he is interested in your opinions.
Sadly, all of these are now in the past.
Your husband hardly talks to you anymore.
He probably plays with the kids and asks you questions like …
“What’s for dinner?”
“Do you want to order a new washing machine yet?”
And make statements like…
“I will mow the lawn on Saturday.”
“I will be home in time for dinner”…
Everything just seems so routine that it’s more like a conversation between colleagues at work than a married couple.
It’s not like you don’t communicate; it’s just that there seems to be no connection in the communication.
Guys love to talk to people they like.
However, this doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t love or care for you.
He just doesn’t like you enough to talk freely with you.
3. He doesn’t touch you
Taking a stroll on a university campus as a single person can be tough.
If you are not naturally strong, you will go home feeling depressed and alone because you will see lovebirds in every corner, holding hands and looking deep into each other’s eyes.
Well, you and your husband were once like these young lovebirds terrorizing single people like me.
You couldn’t keep your hands off each other, and even in public, you held hands and acted like you were the only ones left in the world.
Alas, he no longer does this.
He no longer holds your hands, strokes your hair and cheeks, or even slightly brushes the tips of his fingers down your arms.
You miss the tingling feeling that comes with his touch and you are wondering why.
You would have noticed that I didn’t mention sex.
This is because he probably still has sex with you, but he goes about it quite mechanically.
Like a man plodding through a task at a job he doesn’t like.
The fact he is not eager to touch you outside the bedroom says a lot about your relationship.
It says that while your husband may still love you, he doesn’t like you.
4. He is not as emotionally connected as before
I used to joke with a friend that I could read her like a book.
And it wasn’t just a joke.
Even if it was on WhatsApp, I could tell when she was being moody.
Apart from sensing her emotions without her telling me, I could predict what she would say in response to what I said.
It wasn’t something I tried to do.
It was just natural.
It was natural for your husband in the early periods of the relationship.
He could read you like a book and instantly tell when your mood takes a turn.
Regardless of whatever front you presented to him, he could see through it all.
He was intuitive, and this was because he was interested in you.
Like the girl in my primary school, he followed you with his eyes, drinking in the sight of you and taking note of your body language.
Now, he doesn’t seem to notice when your mood changes, and when he does, he is just mildly dismissive of it.
He would rather stay away until your mood gets back to normal.
He no longer tries to make you feel better because, in his mind, he is always saying, “She is usually that way.”
This could be a sign your husband loves you but doesn’t like you.
And this leads me to the next sign…
5. He is overfamiliar with you
The Christian band Bethel Music sang a song about never losing her wonder before God.
The chorus begins, “Wide-eyed and mystified… may I be just like a child, staring at the beauty of my King.”
They realized that even in our relationship with God, there was a tendency for us to get overfamiliar.
We also do the same thing in our relationships and if your husband is beginning to feel too comfortable with you that he literally doesn’t make an effort anymore, it is a sign that he just loves but doesn’t like you anymore.
Reflect on all the changes your husband has undergone since he first wooed you.
Do you recall all the effort that he put into impressing you?
Is there still a sign of that or it’s all gone with the wind?
It is a sign that whatever inspired him to invest all that effort has disappeared.
He no longer goes the extra mile to do anything for you because according to Nigerian street slang, “he don see you finish” meaning “he is too familiar with you.”
Don’t get it twisted.
He might still love you even when he seems to put little effort into impressing you.
It may just mean that he doesn’t like you enough to put in that extra effort.
This is because he has lost his wonder for you and doesn’t seem to think you are excited enough to deserve the effort.
6. He supports you, but you know something is missing
Love is associated with intense support for your partner.
You can’t love someone without wanting to support or help them.
If your husband loves you but doesn’t like you, he will provide support for you, but you can always feel like something is missing.
He supports you financially and also helps with raising the kids, but you feel like he truly doesn’t have much emotional connection to you when you are growing through your struggles.
He helps out, but somehow, you feel like you are alone in it all.
This is not because he doesn’t care for you.
In fact, he actually loves you but doesn’t like you enough to share your pains, even when he helps you with your personal struggles.
If you have noticed all of these signs or some of them in your marriage, you don’t need to start fretting.
You can still rekindle that feeling in your husband.
Think back to the past…
What are those things you used to do that you no longer do?
What common interests do you have with your husband?
Do you also communicate with your husband, or do you just wait for him to talk to you?
Communication is key to developing any relationship…
And there is nothing better than when couples have common interests to involve themselves in
It helps them spend quality time with each other while rekindling the passion in the relationship.
It returns the pleasure and enjoyment of spending time with your husband.
Ultimately, you need to be patient.
Rekindling ‘like’ takes time and effort from both partners.
Stay true to the course, and soon, you will be able to truthfully say that your husband is your best friend!