If you have ever asked yourself the question, “Why do married couples stop kissing?”, I’m glad to let you know that you are not alone.
Many people ask this question, and I am one of them.
I mean, if they liked each other enough to decide to go on a forever journey and possibly even have children together, then a kiss should be amongst the smallest of the things they’re doing.
Surprisingly, a good number of married couples seem to have buried this exciting part of their marriage – kissing.
This has always got me wondering, and if you’re still reading at this point, then I know you are also wondering.
Fortunately, you don’t have to wonder anymore because I have some all the answers.
Scratch that.
Of course, I do not have all the answers.
But through experience, research, and wisdom, I have some answers to the question, “Why do married couples stop kissing?”
Why Do Married Couples Stop Kissing? 8 Reasons Why
1. Routine
This is the first because it is one of the most common reasons why married couples stop kissing.
Earlier in their marriage, when the spark was still very high, and life hadn’t become monotonous, they always brought their A-game when it came to physical touch.
Kissing was probably one of their favorite things to do, and they did it without reservations.
But over time, schedules and routines have taken over, and kissing has been kicked out of the window.
Bills have to be paid, deadlines met, and goals achieved; kissing is the last thing on their minds.
This happens gradually and slowly such that even couples don’t know when it happens.
2. Lack of spontaneity
This is somewhat linked to routine and daily life demands.
These demands of daily life, such as house chores, job or school demands, career investments, and so on, are a necessity and help in making for a comfortable and happy life.
Still, they can be detrimental to the romance in the marriage.
Before responsibilities increased and demands multiplied, things may have been more spontaneous, and the couple had more energy for romance.
However, as time progresses, structures have to be set up to ensure efficiency and productivity at home and work.
These systems, like scheduling time for work and other things, may end up killing every form of spontaneity in the marriage, making things like kissing almost nonexistent.
3. Hygiene
Another common reason why married couples stop kissing is hygiene or the absence of it.
If one party does not practice good hygiene or has a moth odor or bromhidrosis, that can make kissing difficult.
Some people become less hygienic after marriage, and that is uncomfortable for their partner.
In other cases, the partner only gets to find out after marriage that their partner is not hygienic.
This can put them off and reduce the appeal they feel for their partner, which naturally will make them avoid kissing.
Nobody would want to kiss someone who has a bad breath.
4. Challenges
In a dating relationship, things are quite flexible, and the commitment is not as firm as that in a marriage.
With marriage comes a lot of demands and responsibilities.
Challenges can also arise, and couples may be focused on finding ways to resolve them.
During dating, both parties are less likely to have pressing issues that stress them out, but in marriage, that can happen.
When people have issues in their marriage, it can affect intimacy and bonding moments.
And if not intentionally worked on, it can progress and persist for years.
5. Kids
Children are a blessing, and they bring a lot of change to the lives of their parents.
Couples’ lives change dramatically when they have children, and it can affect their intimacy.
Some couples find it difficult to balance being great parents with being good partners.
For others, particularly very traditional parents, feel weird kissing in front of their children.
They find it uncomfortable to show affection, especially in romantic ways, before their kids.
I, for one, have never seen my parents kiss before, and I know this is the same for many people who have parents in the older generation.
We know for sure that they have intimate moments; I mean, how else would we have existed?
But for some weird reason, we have never seen them share a kiss, and I know that our presence as kids has a lot to do with that.
6. Time
Some married couples see kissing as a waste of time.
For them, intimacy is purely to relieve stress and reach a climax.
This may not be the case for both parties in the marriage.
One of them may desire a kiss, especially a French kiss, but if the other party is not responsive, after a while, they will give up and just go with what is available.
Couples can also get so busy that they barely have any time for each other.
7. Growth
This is common, especially in older couples.
As a marriage advances in time and the people in it grow older, many things change.
People’s desires, attractions, and even bodies can alter and change with time, and what used to excite them before can become a source of stress to them.
Kissing may become a thing of the past if one or both couples are weak, sick, or uninterested because of age.
I don’t think anyone has seen their grandparents engaging in a French kiss.
I know I haven’t.
8. Mindset
Everything people do is a product of their mindset.
People are controlled and directed by their thoughts and ideologies.
This eventually determines how they live their lives and create their families.
Some people think once they are married, things like kissing become a frivolity and should take the back seat.
Some of these mindsets are borne out of tradition and culture and are not harmful because both parties agree.
But in other cases, such as traditions where men believe they are superior to their wives and should be worshipped, and hence can not be found kissing their wives, the mindset needs to be addressed and worked on.
If you are married and you realize that you and your spouse have stopped being affectionate with each other through kissing, it is important to identify the underlying issue and work to address it.
Kissing is an important part of any marriage and should not be neglected or treated as a frivolity.
It keeps the bond alive between spouses, which makes them stronger and, ultimately, better able to negotiate and come to agreements on other topics.
With open communication and effort from both sides, this issue can be overcome.
Don’t stop kissing your spouse!