So you have noticed a pattern in your dating life.
No, it’s not a positive one.
You’ve been attracting broke guys!
And it’s not cool.
You may find yourself wondering, “What is it about me that attracts these types of men? Am I not worthy of a financially stable partner? Is there something wrong with me? Why do I attract financially unstable guys?”
You are not alone.
A lot of women can’t seem to find guys who are doing well financially.
It’s not like they are looking for Silicon Valley guys.
They just want a guy who cares for himself and contributes meaningfully to their relationship.
Come with me, and I’ll share with you eight possible reasons you attract financially unstable men.
Why Do I Attract Financially Unstable Guys?
You value other qualities in a partner more than financial stability
One possible reason you may be attracting financially unstable guys is that you value other qualities in a partner more than financial stability.
If you value qualities like kindness, intelligence, or a sense of humor over financial stability, you may not be mindful of the men you attract.
While financial stability is an important factor in a relationship, it may not be a deal breaker for you if a partner has other qualities that are more important to you.
2. You are attracted to people who are struggling
Some people are naturally drawn to people going through difficult times or facing challenges and may feel a sense of purpose or fulfillment in helping them through those struggles.
You may be a really good person who loves to help others.
So when you see a financially struggling guy, you are drawn to them because you find purpose in helping others.
While it might be rewarding to help someone through a challenging time, be aware that this dynamic can create an imbalance in a relationship, with one partner shouldering more of the financial burden.
Also, you may end up with guys who take advantage of you or drain you financially.
3. You have low self-esteem
Self-esteem refers to how much a person values and believes in themselves, and people with low self-esteem may have a negative view of their own worth.
If you lack confidence in your value, you may believe you are not worthy of a financially stable partner and may unconsciously seek out partners who reflect this low self-esteem.
For example, someone who believes they are not attractive or interesting enough to be with someone who is financially stable is more likely to attract un financially stable partners.
Low self-esteem may be the result of past experiences or negative messages that a person has internalized about themselves.
Someone who has been told that they are not good enough or that they will never amount to anything may have difficulty believing in their own worth and may attract partners who reinforce this belief.
It’s important to be aware of how your self-esteem influences your choice of partner and take steps to improve your self-worth if necessary.
This can involve seeking therapy or self-help resources, surrounding yourself with supportive and positive people, and challenging negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself.
Because, self-esteem matters, sis.
Even if you meet a rich guy, you can sabotage the relationship with your low self-esteem.
4. You’re financially struggling yourself
If you are financially unstable, you may be more likely to be attracted to guys in a similar situation because you feel a sense of solidarity with them.
It’s a misery loves company situation.
If this is your situation, you must fix your financial situation before seeking a romantic partner.
If financial stability is important to you in a relationship, you should also be in a good place financially before entering into a partnership.
Nobody wants a partner who will be a liability but an asset.
So, be an asset and be financially healthy if you want a financially stable guy.
Take steps to improve your financial situation, such as reducing debt, building up savings, getting a better job, getting more education or certification to increase your prospects, or seeking financial education or assistance.
Doing this will create a more stable and healthy foundation for your relationship.
5. You are not actively looking for a financially stable partner
“Seek and you shall find,” says the Holy Bible.
Maybe you are attracting financially unstable guys because you are not actively looking for a financially stable partner.
After all, if you’re not actively searching for something, you’re unlikely to find it.
So, if financial stability is important to you in a partner, be intentional about your choice, and it starts from the first date.
Don’t keep going on dates with NFAs (No Future Ambition).
Seeking out and considering potential partners who are financially stable or have the potential to be financially stable.
You can always tell if a guy is plain lazy and lacks ambition.
An ambitious guy who is currently broke is likely to be financially stable with time.
6. You are attracted to the “bad boy” type
Some people are attracted to the excitement or danger of being with a partner who is unpredictable or rebellious, thus neglecting other qualities like financial stability.
Just remember, as fun as it might be to live on the edge, you should consider whether a partner can support you and contribute to a healthy, stable relationship.
7. You are not in a position to attract a financially stable partner
In today’s dating market, certain qualities can make someone more attractive to potential partners, and these qualities can vary depending on the person and the type of relationship they are seeking.
Some qualities that might make someone more attractive to a financially stable partner include:
Confidence: Confidence makes you attractive to potential partners because it suggests that you are self-assured and capable.
Education: A high level of education may be attractive to some men, especially sapiosexuals who value intelligence and the ability to hold a meaningful conversation above other things.
Professional success: Professional success indicates ambition and drive.
Physical attractiveness: Physical attractiveness is often seen as an important factor in attracting potential partners, although it is subjective and varies from person to person.
Even if you are struggling financially, you can still land a financially stable guy if you are physically attractive.
Good communication skills: Good communication skills can be attractive to potential partners, as they can facilitate healthy, open, and honest communication in a relationship.
You may have difficulty attracting a financially stable partner if you lack some of these qualities.
Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses and work on developing qualities that can make you more attractive to potential partners.
8. You have had negative experiences with financially stable men in the past
Our experiences, both positive and negative, significantly influence our choices and decision-making.
When we have had positive experiences with something or someone, we are more likely to seek out similar experiences in the future.
For example, if you’ve had a series of relationships with men who were financially stable but emotionally unavailable, you may find yourself feeling frustrated and unfulfilled in these relationships and may start to believe that all financially stable men are emotionally unavailable.
As a result, you may start to attract financially unstable men who are more emotionally available, even though you may not necessarily be attracted to them for other reasons.
You may intentionally seek out financially unstable men to avoid the pain and disappointment you have experienced in the past with financially stable men.
However, this pattern may not lead to long-term happiness or fulfillment.
Consider seeking therapy or other resources to work through past relationship issues and move forward healthily.
Also, keep an open mind and do not make assumptions about all men (or all people) based on negative experiences with a few individuals.
Everyone is different, and some financially stable men are emotionally available and able to create a fulfilling, healthy relationship.
I hope this article answers your question.
All the best.