Sometimes, in marriage, feelings can vacillate, and emotions can dwindle.
However, instead of seeing it as the end of the marriage, perhaps it’s just a phase and a wake-up call to make couples prioritize and fixate their attention on deeper things like commitment and their decision to stick together no matter what.
If the lack of feelings in your marriage is temporary, it may not be a big issue, but if you’ve observed that your husband does not have feelings for you and that it’s persistent, that’s a cause for concern.
It is important to pay attention to it, identify the cause, and find possible ways out.
Before talking to your husband about it, you may want to know the possible reasons for this apathy.
I’ve got you.
13 Eye-opening Reasons Your Husband No Longer Has Feelings For You
1. He fell out of love
A good number of people experience falling out of love in their marriages, though not all of them admit it.
It’s quite a complex situation that can be difficult to deal with.
How do you explain that someone who used to be so attached, connected, and head over heels in love with another person suddenly loses all those feelings for no apparent reason?
Certain factors can cause a breakup, and we’ll discuss those factors in the subsequent points, but other times, there’s no cogent reason; it just happens.
You could be a fantastic award-winning wife, doing all the right things, and your husband could still fall out of love with you.
It’s just life.
It may be due to the passage of time, routine boredom, dissatisfaction, disloyalty, etc.
But one thing about it is that it possibly has nothing to do with you
2. You hurt him
One of the unique qualities and beautiful things about love is that it can let go of wrongs and forgive offenses easily, but there are limits.
A loving husband who easily forgives you and gives you his all is not a license for you to do anything.
If you have persistently hurt your husband in the past, taking his love for granted, or perhaps even cheated on him, it may have left an unerasable impact on him.
A man who was head over heels in love with you can one day become one who no longer cares about you because of how you treated him.
Nobody can love indefinitely when they’re not getting it in return or when they keep getting hurt or abused by the one they love.
3. There’s no intentionality about keeping it
There may be no serious or mysterious reason for your husband’s lack of feelings for you other than the fact that the feelings were not intentionally preserved.
People tend to think that when they fall in love with someone and get married, they’ll automatically continue to love them for the rest of their lives.
It doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes, intentional work and efforts are required to keep the love in place.
Some couples know that they need to work to keep the fire burning, but they don’t know that sometimes effort is even needed to keep the love alive.
It’s easy for love to fade if it’s not nurtured carefully.
Failure on your or your husband’s part to put in the effort required to keep your love engine working may be the reason for the emotional detachment.
4. You stopped connecting as a couple
Love may happen naturally without any intentional action from either party, but it needs to be strengthened when it’s set in motion.
Perhaps you and your husband stopped engaging in activities that draw you close together over time, which has damaged your relationship.
Nigerians call this “see finish”.
Have you ever looked at any of your good friends who used to be strangers and been amazed that when you only knew them from afar, you never knew that you would get along so well and come to mean so much to each other?
The difference between a stranger and a loved one is the things that connect you.
You and your husband can become like strangers when you stop connecting and exploring the things that bind you.
These connecting points include constant communication, quality time, intimacy, shared values, hobbies and activities, etc.
When these are absent for long, they can lead to apathy in your marriage.
5. Your lifestyle conflicts with his
Couples with similar values and lifestyles usually have fewer conflicts and are less likely to experience separation and divorce.
Marriage is a relationship that connects people in the deepest way possible.
When these two people have opposite values, there may be an issue.
Perhaps your husband has serious reservations about your beliefs, goals, or lifestyle.
He may not agree with them and want you to stop following them completely.
If you, on the other hand, can not let go of these habits or lifestyles, over time, you may grow apart, and eventually, feelings may start disappearing.
6. Constant fights and resentment
Unresolved conflicts are among the most common culprits for the rise of impassivity in marriages.
When couples go through different challenges together, they’re said to become stronger and have a more solid union.
However, when these challenges result from disputes or a brawl between the couple, they should be as minimal as possible.
When the clash between a couple gets excessive, it can lead to a build-up of resentment and grievances, which can lead to the erosion of feelings.
The good feelings get overwhelmed by the strong, bad, pungent, bitter feelings.
7. Change
I believe the decision to get married is one of the bravest decisions ever.
You are choosing to spend the rest of your life with someone who not only used to be a stranger but can change later in life.
Human beings are unique and unpredictable.
We can change at any point in our lives, and that’s as exciting as it is scary.
Some people get married and change after some time.
Their mindsets, values, feelings, and sense of attraction are altered, and they become almost like a whole new person.
The reason for the situation going on between you and your husband may be that he has changed.
Sometimes, the changes people undergo in their lives can lead to an emotional disconnect between them and their spouses if they are not shared or understood.
8. Infidelity
Cheating can be the reason your husband no longer has feelings for you.
Although some people claim to be doing okay in their marriage even with the presence of infidelity, the truth is that no marriage ever remains the same after cheating is introduced.
Trust is shattered, and there’s no sense of exclusivity anymore.
Your husband may be seeing someone else, and whether or not you’re aware of the affair, it could lead to an emotional detachment.
Perhaps he’s found excitement and fulfillment in this new person and no longer finds it in you.
It’s a heartbreaking reality that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but the truth is that the arms of the other woman are one reason husbands lose feelings for their wives.
9. Family dynamics
When couples don’t handle third-party involvement in their marriage well, it can wreak havoc on them.
The involvement of friends, family, or acquaintances can influence couples’ feelings for each other positively or negatively.
If your husband is being influenced or spoken to by people with mindsets that are against your union, they may eventually negatively influence him.
10. He’s distracted
Something else has taken his passion.
It could be anything: work, business, or even kids.
Your husband’s priorities may have changed, and this shift in focus can lead to an emotional distance.
11. Personal issues
Pressure from your husband’s personal life can affect his emotional availability.
He may just have gotten so overwhelmed with life’s issues that they snuffed life out of him.
When a man is dealing with issues such as financial or health problems, depending on the severity of the challenge, other areas of his life, including his marital life, may suffer.
For some men, it could be issues surrounding addictions, substance abuse, or mental health problems.
These life problems may be responsible for the changes with your husband.
12. Unrealistic expectations
Maybe you demolished the castle your husband built in his head, and that led to his numbness towards you.
We all have subtle expectations somewhere in our minds, but not all of them are necessarily realistic.
Maybe your husband expected you to be a certain way or expected certain things from you that you failed to give.
The disappointment may be what led to what you’re seeing now.
13. Loss of attraction and lack of intimacy
For some people, even when sexual attraction and intimacy leave the marriage, they still keep going, living like friends or siblings but still happy.
This doesn’t happen for everyone, though.
If your marriage has lost its spark in the sex area, maybe your husband is no longer physically attracted to you, or your sex life has taken a downward spiral, that may be it.
Your husband may endure it for a while, but as time progresses, he may gradually lose his feelings for you, detaching and gradually becoming cold.
It can be heartbreaking to watch this happen, especially when you’re not sure what the reason is.
Even if you knew the exact cause, working on it alone may not bring the desired change.
This is why I recommend having a conversation about it.
Your marriage may be about to end, or it may just be experiencing a temporary situation that can be fixed, but you have to first talk about it to find out.