Some people are extremely difficult to please.
No matter what you do, you just can’t please them or make them happy.
They’re always grumpy, overly critical, or angry about something when it comes to you.
People like that sap the energy out of you and make you demoralized.
You dread seeing or meeting them even if you only have to see them once in a while.
Now if that person is your spouse, the situation is much more worse.
Having a husband who is never happy with you is one of the most frustrating things ever.
His constant show of lack of excitement or interest in you may leave you demotivated and unhappy too.
But before letting it get to you, how about you find out the reason for his actions?
At least that would help you decide on a wise way to approach the situation.
Why Is My Husband Never Happy With Me?
1. He is difficult to please
Just as I mentioned earlier, some people are naturally difficult to please.
I have met some people like this, so I know what I’m saying.
Their behavior has nothing to do with you, what you have done, or what you failed to do.
They will always not be happy with you, and nothing you do will impress them or make them happy.
They carry an aura of unhappiness generally, and if you do not know that this is how they are, you can be deceived into thinking that something is wrong with you or that you are doing something very wrong.
When in fact, it is not about you at all but about the kind of person that they are and the quality of their personality.
If your husband is somebody like this, it’ll do you a world of good to recognize it early and set yourself free from the pressure and burden of trying to please him or make him happy.
Intrinsically, you can’t really make anybody happy because everybody’s responsible for their happiness.
Of course, you have obligations as a wife to fulfill, and your actions should be aimed at making his life pleasant and full of happy moments.
But if, regardless of your efforts, he is still never happy with you, then it’s not on you.
It is totally on him.
2. Your actions do not serve him
If your husband is never happy with you or constantly displeased with you, then you must evaluate your actions towards him and the relationship that exists between you both.
It is unrealistic to constantly do the things that your husband does not like or the things that displease him and expect him to be happy with you.
Take some time to observe the things that make him unhappy or the actions or scenarios that lead up to his sad or angry moments with you and evaluate them.
Are you doing the things that he hates?
Are you saying words to him that make him feel sad?
I want you to ask yourself these questions and answer them very honestly.
You both must not always agree on everything, but when it has to do with the fundamental and foundational things that matter to your partner, honoring your marriage requires that you respect their opinions,
You should make healthy compromises and meet them halfway.
If you constantly shut down his opinions, ignore his perspective, and disregard his desires, he will be constantly unhappy with you.
You can not constantly engage in actions that do not serve him and expect him to be pleased.
Healthy compromises have to be made.
3. Major compatibility issues
Another possible reason for your husband‘s constant unhappiness with you is compatibility issues.
The both of you may be different in so many ways and in significant ways too.
You do not have to be exactly the same to get married, but I would always advise that before getting married to a person, it is important that you are both compatible in some key areas.
Your values, lifestyle, and mindset should align to a large extent, and the areas where you both differ should be things that can be worked around when you both get into a marriage.
If you are both entirely different people and you get married, or you used to agree, or one person changes along the line in the marriage, making you both very different people, it can bring a lot of dissatisfaction to your marriage.
This can lead to your husband being constantly unhappy with you.
Your words and actions will always conflict with his, and even your plans will not align.
He will constantly feel like you are doing something wrong, and this is simply because you are both different people.
4. He’s seeing someone
As much as I would love for this to not be the case in your marriage, I can’t deny the fact that if a man is constantly unhappy with his wife and displeased at her actions no matter how much work she’s putting in to make the marriage work, it can be that he’s having an affair.
A man who thinks he has found someone better out there who is meeting all of his needs will be unimpressed no matter what his wife does for him.
He may even begin to get angry and irritated at his wife for no reason.
If you already know that he is cheating, then you should not still be wondering why he is never happy with you.
It is because he’s seeing someone else.
So he’ll find every excuse to pick a fight with you.
5. External issues
Sometimes it’s not about you.
You’re just, unfortunately the recipient of his frustrations.
If he has constant issues at work or with other people, he can take it out on you.
He may be experiencing issues and challenges of all sorts from external sources.
He may feel like his life is not progressing as much as it should or his job is not bringing the satisfaction he expects it to bring.
It may be health challenges, family problems, self-esteem issues, or something else.
These myriads of issues confronting him can make him act in ways that show that he’s not exactly the best husband out there.
If he does not know how to manage his emotions and challenges properly, he can unleash all of the frustration on you, and you may end up feeling like something about you is just not enough.
When in fact, it has nothing to do with you.
6. He does not love you
A man who doesn’t love his wife is bound to have constant conflicts with her.
Can you be married to someone you don’t love?
It is quite sad, but it is a possibility.
This is a sensitive case that requires more attention and extra work.
7. He is a narcissist
Narcissists and emotional abusers do not make great husbands because it’s always one issue or the other with them.
They inflict emotional stress and pain on their partners because they are self-centered and can never be impressed.
No matter how hard you’re working on the marriage, you can almost be fooled into believing you are responsible for their unhappiness.
If you suspect that your partner is a narcissist, I suggest that you read up about narcissistic behavior and how to handle narcissistic partners.
And if your partner is clinically diagnosed with depression or anxiety, that can also be the reason for their actions.
In cases like this, they need professional medical and psychological help.
8. He does not think you’re enough
Some people get into marriage and, for some reason, begin to think their partner is not enough.
Due to some challenges in marriage, their partner’s flaws, or just sheer lack of contentment, they begin to wish they chose someone else.
If your husband thinks this way about you, he will always be unhappy with you.
Marriage is a commitment, and when you choose to go on that journey with someone, you are expected to work with them and find ways to make your marriage better.
Some people do not understand this and end up looking out of their marriage and thinking their partner is not good enough.
If he’s constantly thinking about all the other options he could have married and that he could have done better, it will reflect in his actions toward you.
My Husband is Never Happy With Me: What To Do
1. Talk about it
If you have noticed that your husband is never happy with you, the last thing you need to do is be quiet about it and keep suffering.
This situation can make you unhappy and miserable.
Your self-esteem and mental health can also be affected.
So you have to speak up about it.
Communicate with him and let him know how you feel.
Remember that communication requires two people who are willing to talk and listen.
Communicate your reservations but also listen to what he has to say.
Both of you have to be willing for it to work.
2. Seek professional help
If, after communicating, you realize that the issue is beyond you, don’t force yourself to fix it.
There are options to explore, such as speaking with a trusted loved one, an experienced family or a friend.
Or better still, seek professional help from a therapist or a counselor, first for yourself, then for you and your husband.
You should give your best to your marriage, but you should also protect your mental health and sanity.
It takes people with a healthy mind to make a healthy marriage.