I was out with a couple of friends some time ago, and one of my friends brought his friend.
I sat opposite these two and listened as his friend shared that he regretted getting married.
I was surprised to hear that because nothing about him gave such an impression.
So many men are in the same shoes as this young man.
If only they could turn back the hands of time, they’d probably have waited a little bit more or decided against getting married to their wives.
That being said, not all men regret being married.
A man once told me that if he knew marriage was this sweet, he would have gotten married much earlier than he did.
He was obviously enjoying the marital experience.
There are many reasons why a man could regret getting married.
Let’s take a look at a few;
9 Reasons Men Regret Getting Married
1. They married too early
Marriage comes with responsibilities, and one of such is fatherhood.
When children come on the scene, the dynamics are different.
Juggling the demands of fatherhood can be very overwhelming and make a man wish he had waited and lived life a little more before getting married.
It is not strange to find men who believed they could’ve waited to get married because they were not as free as when they were single.
This is why a man should be ready and mature before taking the bold step.
There are four types of maturity a man should attain, and they are;
(a) Emotional and psychological maturity
Attaining emotional maturity helps you to learn more about yourself and others.
It helps you understand the dynamics of human relationships.
(b) Financial maturity
A man is financially mature when he has a stable source of income and reasonable spending habits, and a saving culture.
(c) Mental maturity
Realistically, marriage isn’t for the fainthearted hence, the need to be mentally stable to take this bold step.
Sometimes, one might face situations that could almost throw one off-balance, but when you’re mentally prepared, it helps you develop the stability needed to handle the situation.
(d) Spiritual maturity
Marriage is both physical and spiritual.
When you’re spiritually mature, it helps you learn to commit your marriage to God’s hands, who will give you the wisdom you need for your home.
Therefore, when a man decides to marry without attaining this level of maturity, even if he’s well advanced, he could regret it when reality kicks in.
2. They feel they settled for less
Every man has the qualities they are looking for in a woman.
Settling for less means accepting what is available when the desired isn’t in sight.
Some men regret being married because they feel they settled for less in their choice.
They had a mental picture of who and what they wanted regarding qualities and personality, but when someone who had a little bit or something close to those qualities showed up; they went for her.
And now that they are married, they feel they probably would have gotten what they wanted if they had waited a little bit more.
However, I’ve discovered that not everyone will always get everything they ever wanted.
This is why it’s essential to be flexible in the standards we set.
Being able to differentiate between the important ones, which are values, and the necessary ones, such as the physical qualities, will help to guide one’s choice in making good decisions.
3. They had unrealistic expectations about marriage
When you hear some men talk about the reason they got married or want to get married, you will cringe.
Some of these expectations are;
(I) The woman must always make them happy at all times.
(II) She must be available to meet all their needs.
(II) She must play their mother’s role in their lives.
When they see anything short of this, they start feeling regretful.
They feel they’ve made the wrong choice concerning marriage.
Let me quickly say here that expectations aren’t wrong.
Everyone has an expectation, but some are realistic, and others aren’t.
It’s essential to keep an open mind to this so that you don’t end up disappointed and regretful when you’re not seeing exactly what you wanted.
4. They are going through financial stress
Some men regret being married because of the financial stress they’re going through at home.
Finance is needed for the smooth running of the home.
Water bills, gas bills, and other bills have to be paid.
And these bills increase as children start coming in.
The financial issue is one of the leading causes of disagreements in the home.
When couples don’t agree on how to save and spend on basic needs, it could cause conflicts in the home.
On the other hand, when a man is going through financial difficulty, so much so that he’s unable to meet his family’s needs, he could start blaming himself for getting married in the first place.
While no one can have all the money he needs, as much as possible, he should have a source of income to feed himself and his family comfortably.
And at the same time, couples should have a mutual agreement about how to handle finances in the home.
5. They experience a loss of privacy
Once you get married, forget about privacy.
You’ve been living all by yourself for the longest time, and you have a way of arranging your things; you do your thing your way.
And now, someone who has always had things done differently is coming into your life, and everything changes.
It becomes a struggle because it’s no longer ‘my space’ but ‘our space.’
You start seeing things done in a way that’s different from how you do your things.
This is a significant struggle for people who are perfectionists.
This is one of the reasons why some men regret being married.
They need to come to terms with the reality and make necessary adjustments.
6. They are experiencing communication issues with their wives
In marriage, communication is a big deal.
It would help if you had conversations that enhance understanding between the both.
When couples have communication problems, it strains their relationship.
For instance, frustrations might set in when every discussion almost leads to arguments and disagreements.
And, of course, one may get to the point where one starts questioning the reason for getting married in the first instance.
They both can work on devising suitable approaches to communication.
7. Decreased time for hobbies and interests.
Truthfully, marriage is demanding.
The moment you get married, you may not have all the time to explore your hobbies and interests like you used to do when you were single.
That is not to say you can’t do them anymore.
It’s just that being married might reduce the time you have for those.
Your wife and children now need your attention, and of course, you may have to reduce the time you get to spend on things you love doing.
For instance, if you love to tour many new places and your wife isn’t, you may have to reduce the time you spend touring new places because your home needs you.
Men must come to the reality that marriage requires healthy compromises and adjustments, and they need to be open-minded to accept this.
8. They are married to a troublesome spouse
A troublesome wife can make the home a living hell for her husband.
She finds fault in everything her husband does, and she can be very unreasonable.
Being married to such a woman could make a man regret taking such a step.
9. Unmet desires
Every partner has a need that only their partner can meet.
When these needs are not met, frustration and regret could set in.
For instance, if a man is constantly turned down by his wife whenever he wants to be sexually intimate with his wife, he could get tired of everything.
Conclusion
It’s essential to figure out what’s causing the regret and be willing to seek help from a professional counselor.
An open and honest conversation with your wife is also encouraged.