With the rise in the clamor for equality of both genders, you would think that most women wouldn’t mind having a weak husband.
However, this doesn’t seem to be the case.
In my conversations with many ladies, even some of the most radical feminists I know, I have noticed a desire for a strong man.
It’s not surprising to see a lady who wants to be with a man who is “man enough.”
This raises an important question: “Who will marry the men who are not ‘man enough’?”
The fact is that it is easy to think that all men are strong.
The way men have been taught to stand up and act tough, even when they are unsure of themselves, makes it very easy for some people to think that all men are strong.
Most times, the things we sometimes see as strength from afar are really signs of weakness when viewed closely.
Being stoic and unemotional is not strength, and neither is being expressive a sign of weakness.
These are just societal constructs.
These societal constructs guide many ladies, and that’s why they end up with weak husbands.
If a strong and supportive husband is so vital for the success of any marriage, it is safe to conclude that a weak husband may be detrimental to the success of his own marriage.
If these societal constructs don’t define strength or weakness, what then are the signs of weakness in a husband?
This article will explore certain actions and behaviors that weak husbands mostly exhibit.
We will also look into those things you can do to make things work in your marriage.
Let’s get started!
8 Things Only Weak Husbands Do
1. They avoid responsibility
One of the greatest defining attributes of manhood is the ability to carry out their responsibilities dutifully.
Strong men take pride in being responsible and excelling at their responsibilities.
I think the most obvious sign of a weak husband is that he avoids his responsibilities.
He avoids being responsible for anything in the family.
He may avoid mundane household chores like taking out the trash or mowing the lawn.
This may not really strike you as a sign of his weakness at first.
However, when a man continues to avoid even these trivial responsibilities, it is indicative of intense laziness.
Personally, I believe that a lazy husband is a weak husband.
There is no place for laziness in strength.
When this avoidance of responsibilities also involves avoiding making significant contributions and decisions for the family, it becomes much more glaring that you may just be married to a weak man.
He never takes responsibility for shortcomings in performing his role in the family.
In fact, he sometimes shifts the blame to you.
I remember how a neighbor of mine never acknowledged that he was at fault for anything.
He avoided contributing to offsetting bills around the house and still blamed his wife whenever she took care of things by herself.
A weak husband avoids responsibility.
He doesn’t understand that being a husband goes way beyond coming back to meet dinner served and the occasional romp between the sheets.
It is instrumental to the success of any relationship.
This is why many women want strong husbands who are not afraid of fulfilling their responsibilities.
2. He is insecure
Regardless of what some people say, we must all have had times when we felt inferior.
However, it shouldn’t be something that happens every time.
And if your husband is the type of man who is so insecure that he always needs your validation, like an addict looking for drugs, it is a sign that he is a weak man.
He has a fragile ego and spends a lot of time worrying about how he doesn’t seem to measure up to your standards.
Apart from his relentless need for daily validation from you, he displays high sensitivity to criticism.
A weak husband takes even the most constructive criticism as an attack on his person and a verdict on his competence as a person.
At first, you may have pandered to his wishes because you want him to feel good about himself.
However, it gets exhausting after realizing the high price you have to pay for such a thing.
It gets even more exhausting when you realize you may have to do this for a long time.
Every woman deserves a husband who can handle constructive criticism properly.
3. He doesn’t support you
Do you remember when I mentioned that the most glaring sign of a weak husband is his avoidance of responsibilities?
Well, one of the duties a married couple has towards each other is to be supportive.
I am sure you are saying, ” Don’t tell me he also avoids supporting his wife.”
Typically, no man would avoid supporting his wife.
However, a weak husband would.
He usually fails to offer emotional, physical, and financial support in times of need.
He seems to melt into the shadows when you are going through terrible times.
He does this because his top and only priority is himself.
When your husband is weak, he doesn’t provide that solid support base you always dreamed of before getting married.
It’s so terrible – the feeling that you are going through life alone, even when you share a “life” with someone.
4. He ghosts you
I usually see ladies complaining about boyfriends who ghost, and I really understand the frustration of being in a relationship with someone who is here now and disappears the next day.
If your boyfriend ghosts you during relationships instead of resolving conflicts or supporting you, it is a sign that he is weak.
It is a weak boyfriend that grows into a weak husband.
It is abominable for a man to just disappear from his wife without giving any notice.
If your husband pulls this vanishing act on you from time to time, melting away into the shadows and spending time away without communicating it with you for whatever reason, he is a weak husband.
When he comes back, he makes excuses about his mental state and how he wasn’t in a good place without worrying about the mental condition his ghosting put you in.
These selfish acts are just some of the things a weak husband does.
As a husband, if you are not in a good place mentally, talk to your wife.
Tell her you may need some alone time to figure yourself out.
Don’t just stand up and disappear on her only to appear days or weeks later, expecting her to accept you with open arms.
Things don’t work that way.
A strong husband stays with his wife through the ups and downs.
Those are the vows you took.
Be a man of your word!
5. He always wants to be in control
I haven’t forgotten that we are talking about weak husbands here.
However, we unfortunately attribute some of the wrong behaviors to strength.
So, we think a strong man is one who can control his house and keep it well regimented.
The fact is that if you want to control everything your wife does, you should have programmed a robot instead of marrying someone’s daughter.
The urge to control every facet of a wife’s life is not strength.
It is a weakness.
It is insecurity and fear disguised as strength.
A strong husband doesn’t attempt to control his wife.
He leads because he is a leader.
Only a weak husband feels the need to always be in control.
This is like a knee-jerk reaction to the inadequacy and insecurity he feels.
If he is scared of losing you, he may try to control you in such a way that he keeps you isolated from men he considers to be competition.
If he is constantly checking your phone, trying to dictate who you meet and who you talk to, I am sorry to tell you that you are married to a weak husband.
Love makes you value your wife so much you never want to lose her, while weakness makes a man so scared of losing his wife that he tries to control her.
Know the difference, queen!
6. He has no respect for personal boundaries
I know that marriage is supposed to be the most intimate relationship in this world.
However, even in marriage, personal boundaries still need to be respected.
A strong husband knows this and gives due respect to his wife’s boundaries.
No matter how in love you are, there will always be times when you need some space.
A strong husband knows this.
He isn’t insecure and doesn’t start overthinking the reasons you want some space.
He gives you space.
A weak husband is always in your space, regardless of what you wish.
He refuses to acknowledge the fact that you have a right to live your life even when you are married.
Phones are password-protected for a reason, and if your wife doesn’t share hers with you, you have no business opening her cellphone with her fingerprint while she sleeps at night.
It’s all shades of wrong.
A weak husband is usually very jealous and may go to unbelievable lengths to ensure that you remain under his thumb.
I recently saw a woman writing about her experience with her husband on Twitter.
She said her husband used her personal email to send a resignation letter to her workplace because he didn’t want her to work.
I know there are even dire conclusions to be made from this scenario, but the first thing that struck me was his blatant disrespect for her boundaries.
He invaded her privacy and also sabotaged her opportunities for career advancement in one move.
Such a man is a weak husband.
He is a living embodiment of everything evil and should be avoided by all means.
7. He doesn’t communicate properly
If your husband finds it difficult to communicate properly, it may just be a sign of weakness.
Although men may not be as expressive of emotions, most men are certainly opinionated and always want to share their opinions.
If you discover that your husband is usually hesitant to share his opinions, it may actually be because he is afraid of receiving backlash from you.
He is scared of being criticized, so he keeps his feelings to himself.
He may also be scared that sharing his opinions now may later turn into a case of “what you say, can and will be used against you in the Court of law.”
So, he clams up.
Regardless of his reasons, he is still exhibiting weakness.
Avoiding communication just because you are scared of confrontations is not a sign of strength.
Silence is not golden, sometimes.
Communication in relationships doesn’t always have to be pleasant.
There are times when you may have to talk about unpleasant things.
A strong husband would never shy away from this.
8. He is passive
Let’s get something straight: passivity is not quietness or gentility.
Instead, it is the inability to act when you should.
It is not unusual for a weak husband to show passivity in taking the initiative in the relationship.
He isn’t assertive and usually just says, “Just tell me what you want.”
In the beginning, this blank cheque might have felt really sweet but it gets old really fast.
There are times you don’t know what you want, and you need your husband’s input.
Well, if you have a weak husband, you can guess his response.
This can be so tiring because it leaves you with the weight of the decision-making in the marriage.
If you are already tired, don’t despair.
I have a few suggestions on how to deal with a weak husband.
You could try communicating with him and telling him he needs to be more assertive.
Another thing you could do is to defer more decisions to him.
If he wants you to make the decision, insist that he also has an input.
Apart from this, encouraging him to improve and develop himself may be the key.
Many weak husbands are that way as a result of an inferiority complex.
Perhaps positive feedback may also help them find the inward strength to become the husbands you need.
You should also prioritize your well-being.
Marriage to a weak husband could be extremely toxic.
You have to always look out for yourself.