The best marriage is when you are completely enamored by each other, and nothing can come between you.
If only this could always be the case!
Sadly, this is not always the case.
Sometimes, things come up in a relationship that affects the flow.
An example is when your husband has a crush on another woman; it turns his attention away from you and can affect your marriage if not well managed.
Having a crush doesn’t mean the marriage is destroyed, but it can lead to that if left to fester, so it needs to be dealt with urgently.
But how do you achieve this when you don’t know the signs to look out for?
Hold on … that’s why I’m here.
If you think your husband might have a crush on another woman, this article will help you know for sure.
11 Things Your Husband Will Do When He Has A Crush On Another Woman
1. He Becomes Distant
Physical and emotional intimacy is necessary for the survival of a marriage.
That’s why when couples talk about being each other’s best friend, they are not being cliche, as that’s the healthiest thing.
But when your man has a crush on another woman, you lose your position to her.
Even if he isn’t close to her to the point where he could have any form of intimacy with her – physical or emotional – she occupies his mind, so he might not have room for you anymore.
Many men with crushes often become distant.
He will no longer have much to say to you.
If your husband were someone who used to tell you all about his day, he’d have much less to say about it.
He will also not want to talk to you as much or be affectionate with you.
And it may or may not affect sex.
Some men may seek it more as a way to live out their fantasy, and if you are observant, you may realize he’s thinking about another woman while with you.
Others won’t be interested at all.
Even when you initiate it for those in the latter category, he might reject you because his mind is filled with another woman.
Of course, a man can reject sex if he is not in the mood or tired or for whatever reason.
But if that happens for weeks and he shows signs of being very fond of a colleague or friend, it’s no longer for genuine reasons.
2. His Phone Becomes His Best Friend
A man with a crush on another woman will start spending an unexplained amount of time with his phone.
You’ll find him chatting incessantly, smiling at his phone often, and hiding his phone from you many times.
His phone going with him everywhere he goes is not a good sign, except that’s how he’s always been since you met him.
If that’s the case, then your issue might just be phone addiction.
But his affinity for his phone is new; there’s likely another woman on the other end with whom he’s chatting or stalking on social media.
3. He Pays An Unnecessary Amount Of Attention On Her
This sign can only be obvious when you know the woman.
If your husband has a crush on a woman in your circle, you will see him gravitating towards her.
He might insist on attending events he knows she will attend and find his way towards her.
Yes, your husband doesn’t have to stay glued to you in public, but he should spend most of his time with you.
If he spends it with another woman, paying attention to her, and getting her drinks and food, he is very likely interested in her.
4. He Keeps Talking About Her
Talking about someone occasionally, especially when the occasion warrants it, should not raise any eyebrows.
For instance, if they work closely together, he may mention her when discussing work, which is necessary in the context.
But if he starts dropping random things she says or facts about her, he likely has a crush on her.
If he starts observing her favorite color and how she likes her coffee and unconsciously mentions them in conversations that have nothing to do with her, he could be interested in her.
Nobody talks randomly about someone they are not interested in; it wouldn’t even occur to them.
So, if you ask me, this is probably the strongest indication.
5. He Compares You To Her
Although crushes usually wane after a while, when you have a crush on someone, they are usually the epitome of perfection.
The crush is usually so overwhelming that you don’t see any flaw in them.
Therefore, if your husband has a crush on a woman, he will compare you to her.
And if you don’t measure you – which you likely wouldn’t – he’ll start mentioning it.
You might hear comments like:
“I think women who wear their hair up are classy; why don’t you wear your hair up more?”
“Women look better in skirts than in trousers; you should wear more skirts.”
Sometimes, he might even name-drop absent-mindedly and tell you to act like the woman.
“Suzy would never yell in public.”
“Suzy eats light at night.”
It will go on and on; you will find yourself being compared to her and told to be like her.
6. He Is Suddenly Too Critical Of You
As we established above, she becomes the epitome of perfection, and you stop being enough.
So, he starts criticizing everything you do, things he could overlook before, and things he complimented you on before.
You will find that you never do anything right.
I wouldn’t worry about that, though.
It’s because he is focused on another woman and wants to feel less guilty about it.
By convincing himself and you that you are doing something wrong, he deceives himself into thinking he is not doing anything wrong.
So, instead of focusing on the criticism, find out the root cause because it’s not about you but his crush.
7. He Suddenly Focuses On His Appearance
At the risk of sounding stereotypical, men are often not that much concerned about their looks.
Of course, this is not the case across the board, as some might be as invested or even more invested than most women.
If you married this exception, focusing on his appearance should not alarm you.
But if he suddenly starts caring, it’s for a purpose.
In this case, it’s likely that he wants to look good for her.
People hardly do that kind of turnaround without a trigger.
While I wouldn’t say it is always ominous, it could be; you need to find out why he suddenly cares how he looks.
8. He Showers You With Excessive Affection Or Gifts
If he feels guilty about thinking about another woman, he might try to overcompensate to ease it.
Again, this doesn’t apply if you married an overly expressive husband.
But if this is a new development, and he is love-bombing you and buying you gifts – even unwanted gifts – he might be trying to make it up to you.
Or he doesn’t want you to suspect.
In his mind, he might think that if he showers you with so much affection, you won’t notice if he strays.
9. He Acts Suspicious
He is your husband, after all, so you know him.
When he starts acting less than the man you know and more like a criminal before the jury, every time you bring up something, he is likely guilty of something.
You could ask an innocent question like, “Where are you?” and he will get defensive.
The Good Book says, “The guilty runs when no one pursues.”
So even when you don’t accuse him of anything, he will act guilty around you because he is.
10. He Questions Your Faithfulness And Loyalty
When I was in university, I told a friend that my brother was single, and he argued with me that it was impossible.
According to him, men are never single.
I remember telling my brother, and he said that when people do certain things, it’s difficult for them to believe others don’t, either.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Your husband will likely project his guilt on you.
He is cheating or considering cheating, so you must be as well.
If you married an insecure or jealous man, then this might not apply to you.
But if he suddenly starts questioning your loyalty, another woman is likely in the picture, and he is accusing you of the same to feel better about himself.
11. He Has An Unexplainable Lifestyle Change
Change is the most constant thing in life.
So, lifestyle change is not an issue.
What’s a problem is if it’s unexplainable.
For instance, if his office is working on a project that demands putting in extra hours, working overtime is understandable and can be explained.
But if nothing is taking his time and he suddenly regularly comes home later than usual, another woman is likely taking his time away from you.
How To Cope When Your Husband Has A Crush On Another Woman
The fact that your husband has a crush on another woman doesn’t mean your marriage is headed to the hills.
If he hasn’t started an affair with her, then it’s very much salvageable.
That’s why reading this post is important so you can recognize the signs and nip them in the bud before they spiral.
So when you have determined there is another woman in the picture, what should you do?
1. Talk To Him
I know it’s frustrating, and you want to lash out, but please don’t because it will be counterproductive.
He will get defensive, not admit to it, and you will not make a headway.
Instead, speak to him gently and communicate your feelings.
Ensure you don’t address the issue on baseless suspicion; get irrefutable proof.
Then let him know you are willing to work on the marriage if he is.
If he is, you can ask him what you can improve to make it less likely for him to fall into such temptation again.
Let me say here that I don’t think it’s your fault.
However, some things could help improve and strengthen the fort of the relationship.
Once he tells you, try not to get defensive as well.
Ask him what he thinks he needs to do to kill the crush.
Crushes wane as quickly as they come anyway.
Then, you can both commit to saving your marriage.
You could also engage the services of a professional marriage counsellor to guide you both through this phase.
2. Make Changes
After the talk, be sure to make the changes that you both discussed.
If he mentioned things he needs you to improve on and you agreed with him, then try to work on it.
Also, watch out for changes on his part because you need to protect yourself by ensuring he is not lying to you.
3. Make Your Decision
Hopefully, all these go well, and he accepts the required boundaries to stop the crush.
But if he doesn’t, then you need to decide on what’s best.
I wish you all the best.