As a kid, I attended a charismatic Pentecostal church.
We had some of the weirdest prayer points that usually involved enemies dying either by fire or whichever way God chose to orchestrate it.
Now that I am older, I know better than to involve myself in such prayers.
The point is that I saw many women praying for their enemies to “fall down and die” without realizing that they were actually praying about their husbands.
Some husbands secretly hate their wives.
This may be shocking, but it is the truth.
It is so disconcerting to think that someone whom you share such close quarters with secretly hates you.
I can literally feel chills running up my spine at the thought.
Wives need to recognize the signs their husbands secretly hate them.
This will help in nipping the problem in the bud before it becomes too late to deal with it.
Recognizing the signs that your husband secretly hates you is a step towards uncovering the key issues causing his deep resentment of you.
Knowing where it all went wrong in your marriage is necessary if you want your marriage to move on from this phase of hatred.
This article will explore the various things a husband does when he secretly hates you and how to handle this dicey situation before things get out of hand.
Let’s get started!
If Your Husband Does These 10 Things He Secretly Hates You
1. He is always quarreling with you
Conflicts occur even in the most successful marriages.
It is normal for two people to disagree over something at times.
If you don’t disagree in your relationship, then there is something wrong.
Today, we will focus on those couples that disagree and always quarrel.
That’s another extreme end of the spectrum.
When couples quarrel all the time, it creates a toxic environment for them and their children.
If your husband always quarrels with you, and even the most trivial things in a relationship are usually treated like a declaration of war by your husband, it may be a sign that he secretly hates you.
If your home front has suddenly become a war front, you need to be aware that it could be a result of deep-seated resentment and hatred.
And if your husband usually instigates it, it could be a sign of secret hatred.
When your husband secretly hates you, it becomes really hard to see things from the same perspective.
He is clouded by the hate he feels for you, and you may also start resenting his untoward behavior, making it hard for you to interact positively with him.
2. He avoids spending quality time with you
This is actually a no-brainer.
No one wants to spend time with someone they secretly hate.
As a kid, I used to say I hated some of my classmates, and my mum usually told me that I disliked them.
I disliked them so much that I didn’t like to spend time around them.
Sometimes, just the sight of their faces was enough to make me angry.
In my defense, these kids bullied me, and they made me hate going to school.
Being older doesn’t change how we react to people we dislike.
When a husband secretly hates his wife, he avoids spending time with her.
While it is impossible for couples to avoid each other totally, he does it to the best of his capacity.
He spends most of his time at work or with his friends.
If he drinks, he probably goes to a bar immediately after work and soaks himself in alcohol till he is totally drunk.
Then, he comes home to sleep it off.
Even if he doesn’t drink, he finds any excuse to avoid coming home early and spending time with you.
If your husband doesn’t spend time with you, it is because he doesn’t enjoy doing so.
Since one sign of love is the need to spend quality time with your partner, avoiding your partner is a sign of hate and resentment.
It’s that simple, most of the time.
3. He avoids intimacy with you
Intimacy doesn’t occur without love.
By this, I mean there will be no intimate conversations, holding of hands, or even physical intimacy.
Intimacy is an integral part of marriage, and if you discover that you and your husband seem to be less intimate by the day, it is a sign that something is wrong in the relationship.
When a man secretly hates you, he doesn’t want to have much contact with you.
He avoids touching you physically in any way and also avoids any form of emotional intimacy…
In fact, if you attempt to initiate intimacy, you may get the distinct impression that he is disgusted with you.
However, you should note that to conclude that he secretly hates you, it must be something that he has consistently done.
One-off occurrences don’t really count.
4. He puts no effort into the marriage
For a marriage to work, couples must invest their time and effort.
If you are putting in so much effort to ensure that your marriage works, it could be really sad to realize that your partner doesn’t seem interested in doing the same.
It seems like your husband doesn’t even care about your happiness in the marriage.
He just does the barest minimum in the relationship, and sometimes, he does nothing.
When your husband secretly hates you, he makes no effort to improve the marriage.
Instead, all he does is to sabotage your efforts.
You may be wondering why he does this.
Well, hate or resentment can make people do some of the weirdest things ever.
5. He cheats on you
I know there’s a debate about how a man can love you and still cheat on you.
While I believe that this happens sometimes under extreme circumstances, I still affirm that it reflects the man’s inability to control himself.
However, a man who loves you and cheated on you won’t continue cheating on you after being given a second chance.
In fact, he is expected to get his act in order and behave like a devoted choirboy after that.
If your husband cheats on you consistently, it may be a sign that he secretly hates you.
Regardless of whether the ladies keep throwing themselves at him or whatever justifications he brings up to justify his infidelity, cheating should have no place in a loving relationship.
Hence, it is safe to conclude that if your husband cheats on you and flaunts it, it could be a sign that he secretly hates you.
Cheating isn’t part of the nature of any man.
It is an aberration, and it should be treated as such.
6. He never appreciates you
Do you know how dislike clouds the vision?
If you dislike someone, you may be less inclined to admit it when they have done something really good.
When you finally do, it leaves behind a bitter taste in your mouth.
In a relationship, couples are expected to invest their efforts in improving things.
It is also expected that they appreciate each other’s efforts.
If you have been trying to improve your relationship and show your husband how much you care for him, you’d probably expect some kind of appreciation from him.
When none is forthcoming, it is safe to assume that he takes you for granted.
If your husband only sees the negative things you do without acknowledging the positive things you have done, it may be a sign that he secretly hates you.
7. He acts uninterested in your life
When we love people, we want to be an active part of their lives.
We want to know what’s going on in their lives and how we can help them do things better.
We just want to stay involved.
Now, in a marriage, it is even more important that couples stay involved in each other’s lives.
However, if your husband is uninterested in your life, he may secretly hate you.
It feels like you live two separate lives, and your only common factor is staying in the same house.
When this happens, it is a sign that there is something fundamentally wrong in the marriage.
When your husband shows no interest in how your days go or what you do, it could be a sign he secretly hates you.
Such a level of nonchalance has no place in any loving relationship.
Not between friends and definitely not between married couples.
8. He always insists on having things his way
A marriage is a partnership.
While Christianity may say that “the man is head of his wife,” this doesn’t literally mean that the man should make all the decisions in the household.
When your husband insists on having things go his way all the time in the relationship, it may be a sign that he secretly hates you.
After all, marriages should be characterized by occasional compromises on each partner’s part because one person can’t always lord it over the other.
If it feels like you are married to a dictator whose words have to be followed without any questions being asked, it is a sign your husband secretly hates you.
9. He never prioritizes your needs
“If you don’t prioritize your wife’s needs in marriage, whose need are you supposed to prioritize?”
Well, some husbands actually prioritize others over their wives sometimes.
And when this happens, it can be a sore point.
Sometimes, husbands do this unintentionally.
However, if he does it all the time, it may be a sign that he secretly hates you.
For instance, if he usually cancels plans with you just to accommodate friends and other people, it could be a sign that he really doesn’t care about you.
It shows that he disregards your feelings and doesn’t think your needs are paramount.
When a husband disregards his wife’s needs all the time, it is a sign that he secretly hates her.
10. He is abusive
When a man is abusive, then he is no longer secretive.
Violence and any other forms of abuse are not allowed in relationships.
An abusive relationship is a toxic relationship to be in, and when a man intentionally hurts his wife, it is a sign that he hates her.
There is nothing secretive about it.
I feel so sad when bruised and battered women still say, “I know he loves me.”
Dear woman, he doesn’t love you.
If he loves you, he won’t hurt you intentionally.
If he loves you, he won’t abuse you.
Like I always say, if you are in an abusive relationship, run for your life.
Don’t waste your life in an abusive marriage.
If the signs above are observable in your relationship, then the odds are your husband secretly hates you.
However, you must approach the matter calmly, applying effective and honest communication to understand the reason your husband is behaving the way he is.
This honest conversation can open your eyes to the underlying issues in your relationship.
Then, you may also need to introspect deeply.
What have you been doing that you need to do better?
Ask yourself this question and honestly examine the areas you can improve upon yourself.
You can also seek professional help with your husband’s cooperation.
If you still want to stay in the relationship, you can start afresh and work towards a better marriage.
However, it takes two to tango.
Your husband must be ready to make things work.
Most importantly, while all marriages go through rough phases, abuse shouldn’t be tolerated.
If you are in an abusive marriage, my sole advice has to be, “Run for your life!”.